Uzumaki Naruko: Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Kunoichi
by nikkiru-san
Summary: "My name is Uzumaki Naruko! I like ramen, especially Ichiraku's! I hate the three minutes it takes to cook ramen...and Sakura...and Ducky. My hobbies include pranking, thinking about pranking, and coming up with pranks...and talking to Jiji I guess. My dream is to become the greatest Hokage ever, so people will acknowledge me for me!" Rating may change. Let me know what pairing!
1. Chapter 1:Prologue

Uzumaki Naruko! Prologue no Justu!

 _Four years ago, a nine-tailed fox suddenly appeared. It's tails lashed out, smashing mountains, and sending tidal waves crashing to the shores. The ninja rose up to defend their village. One shinobi faced the nine-tailed fox in mortal combat. He sacrificed his life to capture the beast and seal it in a human body. This ninja is known as the 4th Hokage._  
 _A shiki fuin was placed on the stomach of a new born babe. She had blond hair, a most peculiar- whisker marks. No one new it yet, but this girl- Uzumaki Naruko- would one day change the shinbone world as we know it._

Age Four:  
Uzumaki Naruko, container of the Kyuubi, ran for her life. The orphanage lady stood in the doorway with a broom in hand, "And stay out brat! We don't want your kind here!" The door slammed shut. It was early in the evening, and many shops were just beginning to close. Naruko did not know where she went wrong. Earlier that day, a young boy in the village stood shopping with his father. A purchase of ripe oranges on the counter lay waiting. The shopkeeper raised a brow, "The money, sir?" The man had reached down into his pocket in search for a wallet, only to come back with nothing. "Huh?" The little boy grinned roguishly and pulled out the wallet from behind his back.

"Haha otou-sama! I pranked you!" The man had grinned and ruffled his hair. After he paid they walked away swinging hands.

"You'll make a fine shinobi one day!" Both laughed as they walked down the street. Meanwhile, a young girl will blond hair looked on with confusion. "Ah!" she exclaimed. Pranking was funny, it made people like you and they would smile. It was perfect. Now all she needed to do to win the old lady's affection was to prank her! Then, she could get full meals and play with everybody else.

Naruko was a little lady with a mission. She had replaced all the old lady's clothes with orange jumpsuits. Naruko herself loved orange, but as soon as she had said that the old lady hated the color! But she would laugh and compliment Naruko and then everything would be better!

"NARUKO! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE NOW!" Naruko giggled and ran up the stair case. She smiled brightly and the old lady turned around. "Was it you," she whispered, a vein pulsing in her forehead. "You little demon brat!" Naruko didn't understand, why wasn't the old lady happy? So she smile and rubbed the back of her head.

"Ahaha, you caught me Obaa-chan! Isn't it funny?" The old lady, if anything, looked even angrier than before! She grabbed the broom in the corner and started swatting at Naruko like a pest. "OUT! GET OUT! Don't come back inside you devil spawn!" Naruko was forced to live on the street. She ate from trashcans. She pissed in gutters. She cried in alleyways. But Uzumaki Naruko wasn't a quitter, and she was going to survive, dattebayo. No matter what happened, she would prank and smile and make other people happy too.

 _Five years ago, a nine-tailed fox suddenly appeared._  
Age Five:  
Uzumaki Naruko, container of the Kyuubi, ran for her life. She wore a grin on her face and two small buckets of paint in her hands. Behind her were two masked men. Naruko thought they looked funny, and would appreciate a good joke. So she had followed them to their hideout and painted it orange, because there wasn't a better color in the world, dattebayo! But the funny masked men did not laugh, or smile from what she could tell. They wore those funny masks, after all, so she really couldn't tell. Then they yelled and she ran for it. She had to climb a building and jump. It was awesome, dattebayo! But the funny masked men did not like the game of tag. They kept yelling. So she kept running. Nobody else wanted to play with her, so she had to take what she could get, right? Her train of thought was interrupted as she bumped into something. It was white and red, and wrinkly and wore a funny hat. "Sorry!" She attempted to keep running but the masked men grabbed her first. She pouted, "Let me go, dattebayo! It was just a prank, it was funny!"

Masked man #1 glared and talked calmly, "Show some respect to the Hokage, brat." Naruko flinched. _"You little demon brat!"_ The words from the orphanage rang throughout her head. She snarled and was about to retort, when the old man ruffled her hair. The old man- Hokage..?..- chuckled loudly, "A prank indeed. Pray tell, Naruko-chan, how did you trick my best ANBU?" She scrunched up her nose; "chan" was a stupid thing to put at the end of a name. He chuckled again quietly, and looked at her, "How about we talk more in my office, okay Naruko-chan?" She shrugged. He seemed special, so it was probably okay.

"It was easy, dattebayo! I just followed the glowing stuff around them. And when they went inside the super secret hideout, I painted the building! It was _funny_ , Jiji, thats why!" She concluded with a small nod of her head, and pout of the lips. While she explained the Hokage gave her an appraising look. He raised an eyebrow. "You know, Naruko-chan, you could be a fine ninja one day, with those skills. Glowing you say?" _"You'll make a fine shinobi one day."_ "Naruko-chan? You in there?" Naruko shook herself.

"Yes I am here jiji. Yes, glowing stuff. It is on everything! Everyone has a blue glow, except me! Mine is purple! That means I must be extra special, dattebayo! Ne, Jiji, what is a Hokage?" The man beside her nearly face faulted and turned to her with a strange expression on his face. "Do they teach you anything at the orphanage?" She slumped a little bit. "Ano…the orphanage lady doesn't really like me, but that's okay, dattebayo! I am fine, I even made a friend, his name is Remy, and we live together." The Hokage noticed for the first time that Naruko was dirty, malnourished, and tired. "I'll even show him to you just- stay here, or you could scare him!"

Sarutobi Hiruzen was a confident man with only a handful of regrets. Looking at the girl dashing into an alleyway, he couldn't help but wonder if she was one of them. She came back, excited, but he didn't see a little boy. In her hands was a small alley rat. "Naruko-chan?" At her questioning glance, he continued, "Do you not live at the orphanage?" Her grin fell off her face, and he felt as if the sun had disappeared.

Naruko shifted uncomfortably, "Not for a year. But I'm doing fine!" She laughed nervously, "Remy and I look great, we found a spot behind an Akimichi restaurant, and theres always a ton of food- and the tiles stick out some so I don't get wet when it rains! It's great, dattebayo!"

Hiruzen sighed, "You will have an apartment tomorrow. I want you to meet with me once a week, okay Naruko-chan? The you can ask me anything you want. Tomorrow we start, okay?" She nodded tentatively.

"I really appreciate you're offer, Jiji! I won't let you down like the others, dattebayo!" As she crossed the threshold of the office she turned back again, "I'm bringing Remy."

 _Six years ago, a nine-tailed fox suddenly appeared._  
Age Six:  
Uzumaki Naruko, container of the Kyuubi, ran for her life. She had a proud grin on her face, and held two medium buckets of paint in her hands. Two ANBU chased her, lovingly named 'Dog Breath' (Inu) and 'Unimportant' (He was named that because he hated her and she hated him. His name was Bear). The Hokage tower was covered in orange paint. The could be only one culprit. "NARUKO!" She stopped short upon seeing a boy with black hair moping on the peer.

He had a dark blue shirt with a weird symbol, but the weirdest thing was definitely his hair. She ran up and yelled, "Hey Ducky, why are you moping?!" He turned and glared. "Hey just 'cuz you are sad doesn't mean you have to be an..an…a teme!" Both turned around, glaring, but soon found smiles on their faces.  
She then remembered she was currently a fugitive running from her two favorite masked men and she needed to continue her flight. She planned to circle back to the Hokage Tower to talk with Jiji! Because Jiji was awesome and never got mad at her, dattebayo! With that in mind, she scaled the nearest building and continued the chase, missing Ducky's curious look as two highly trained assassins chased her.

One thing Naruko knew about 'Unimportant' was that he wasn't fast or limber, so on rooftop she had a better chance. Her reflexes screamed as Unimportant's hand grabbed her shoulder. She squatted and rolled behind him. Now she could jump to the next building! Her plan was perfect- except Dog Breath was now right behind her. She sprinted and leapt the rooftop. "Yes, dattebayo! I made it to the tower you losers! HAHA!" Hiruzen smiled as he heard his surrogate grand-daughter yell from outside. That girl was incredible to avoid ANBU that long, despite that both took it easy on her. So as she chatted about her recent adventure he nodded and smiled in all the right places. "I am proud of you Naruko-chan. Any questions for me today?" She nodded vigorously.  
"So, Jiji! When are you gonna send me to the Academy?"

 _Seven years ago, a nine-tailed fox suddenly appeared._  
Age Seven:  
Uzumaki Naruko, container or the Kyuubi, ran for her life. She was angry. She hated bullies. Poor Hinata-chan was being bullied and Naruko wouldn't stand it, so she slapped him. He got angry and started chasing her. As long as she could get to the Hokage Tower, she would be okay, and so would Hinata. Nobody liked Naruko, it seemed. They were nice at first, and then their parents would say something, and then they were mean. She didn't know what she did to them, but it must have been pretty bad to make them hate her. The others didn't want to be around her either, because she failed to graduation exams. She couldn't figure out the bunshin, which wasn't her fault, dattebayo! But Hinata was always nice to her, even if she was shy. And Ducky was still a prick! He ignored her like she was the dirt beneath his shoe. She would she him, she would become Hokage and then force him to pay four ryou for each time he had ever called her dobe.  
The boy decked her arm. Naruko hissed and punched his nose. A crack resounded through the alleyway and she ran. She ran faster than ever before. Because that guy was twice her size, twice her age, and dangerous. She ditched the Tower, home was safer now. Everyone knew she was close to the Hokage, so going home was less predictable. The boy was gone. Naruko wanted to believe that Hinata would be friends with her tomorrow, but knew that it was unlikely. After all, no matter what she did, nobody ever liked her after. It was because of whatever the parents said to them, she was sure. She talked to Jiji once, and he had said that the other children "simply didn't know any better." Naruko especially hated Sakura. Sakura hadn't even given her a chance, and then had the nerve to make fun of her. When Haruno would fear the day when she had to bow before the future Hokge, dattebayo!  
That's it folks.


	2. Enter: Naruko Uzumaki!

**So, yes- Naruko inherited her clan's sensor ability. She doesn't know what it is, or that it is unique. My reasoning behind her chakra being purple is the mix of Kyuubi's(red) and Naruko's(blue). Anyways, special thanks to 707cloud, bot02, mmcca87, and JustAnotherGeek44 for being my first fans.**

 _Twelve years ago, a nine-tailed fox suddenly appeared._

 **Enter: Naruko Uzumaki!**

Uzumaki Naruko, container of the Kyuubi, ran for her life. She was laughing so hard it was becoming difficult to breathe. In her hands were two buckets of yellow paint, swinging behind her as she darted from rooftop to rooftop. Two unfortunate Chuunin were running behind her in a desperate attempt to capture the mischievous girl. One snarled as she speed up, "Naruko! Get back here! When I get my hands on you..!" The Chuunin could not finish his threat, as she disappeared behind a corner. Her giggles echoed through the alley as she took another right.

The second man was even angrier than the other, if that was possible, "You crossed the line this time, Naruko!" All three jumped back onto the rooftops. The chase continued and Naruko burst out in laughter again.

"Haha, give it up, you'll never catch me! You're just bent because you want to laugh! It was a prank! It was funny!" She dashed forwards again and ran past the Hokage Tower.

Inside, Sarutobi Hiruzen sat in his desk. The amount of paperwork was becoming a problem. Instead of beginning to tackle some of it, he leaned back and took a long drag from his pipe. His moment of calm was interrupted as several shinobi barged into the office. All looked equally panicked, and Hiruzen had a sneaking suspicion as to why. "Lord Hokage! It's an emergency!" He sighed and rubbed his face with a weary hand.

The Third sighed, "I hope you're not bothering me with some trivia again. Please don't tell me it was Naruko?" The same ninja nodded vigorously, "It is, she painted the Hokage Monument with graffiti! It's rather offensive and the townspeople demand it is removed." Hiruzen sighed again, took a drag from his pipe, and dismissed the other shinobi.

Meanwhile, the chase was still on! Naruko would trick these dumb men easily, dattebayo! She jumped down by a fence and covered herself in a blanket that matched the fence's pattern. The two chuunin raced by without a second glance, "Naruko! Where did you go?!"

She giggled and dropped the blanket, "It gets easier every time, right Remy?" Said rat popped his head out of her orange jumpsuit. "We are free to go! What next?" As she began to walk away, a firm hand gripped her shoulder tightly. She looked behind her with a foreboding sense of dread. She giggled nervously, "Oh, Iruka-sensei! Funny runnin' into you...what're you doing here..?"

Iruka sighed, "What are _you_ doing here Naruko? You are _supposed_ to be in _class_."

Umino Iruka was a fair teacher. He didn't like to hold prejudice or treat a clan student better than a civilian one. Which is why he attempted to see the Kyuubi container as Naruko, a strong-willed girl who for some reason, carried around a rat like an Inuzuka carried a dog. That didnt mean he wouldn't be hard on her for ditching class and doing A-class pranks though. With this in mind he tied her up and dragged her to the Academy. As he walked inside he winked at her, then began talking as if he had lectured her the entire time, though both knew she would get quite the talk later. "I'm at the end of my rope, Naruko. You failed the test last time, and the time before that. You have a chance to pass tomorrow, and you are already blowing it!"

Naruko blushed and looked away, eyes stinging painfully. "Hmph!" She untied herself and walked to an empty seat next to Choji. She didn't understand what made Iruka-sensei so mad all the time. So, she missed some school, but it was boring! She didn't learn anything anyway. But she would pass the test this time! Third time's the carm, dattebayo! She glared at the back of Iruka's head.

Feeling her attention, he spun around and pointed dramatically, "Fine! Because _you_ missed it, Naruko, the whole class will review the  Transformation Technique!" The whole class groaned and Iruka mentally patted himself on the back. He was a good teacher, dammit! His class gathered in the front of the room, mumbled complaints still filtering through the air.

Naruko pouted. She hated when Iruka made the class hate her! Her brows crinkled in thought, wondering what to do in retaliation. Sakura was up first. "Alright, Sakura here! Let's do it! Transform!" With a poof of smoke, Sakura was no longer there. In her place was a carbon copy of Iruka himself. Iruka nodded in approval.

"Transformed into me, good..." She had a few flaws in the technique, but it was outstanding for an academy student. After writing down a few marks he nodded again. "Thank you, Sakura. Good work."

She squealed and turned around, looking for something. Her eyes landed on Sasuke Uchicha. "Yes, I did it! Sasuke did you see that?!" She batted her eyelashes a couple of times, waiting for his approval.

Sasuke said nothing.

Iruka coughed lightly, "Next...Sasuke Uchicha." Naruko glared at Sakura for being annoying and at Ducky for brooding. He slouched, hands in his pockets and he walked up the stairs. Saying nothing, he transformed perfectly into Iruka. Naruko glared harder due to his success. Ducky didn't even have to try to do well, and it annoyed the shit outta her. Iruka looked awkward, "Uh, good. Next...Naruko Uzumaki."

Before she began to walk she heard Shikamaru, who sounded angry, "This is a total waste of time, Naruko." At least, she thought he sounded angry. It was hard to tell with his deadpan voice. Next to him, Ino nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we always pay for your screw-ups."

Naruko snarled, "Like I care what a _bimbo_ thinks." She shoved her hands in her pockets, unknowingly copying Sasuke, and walked up to Iruka. " Transform." A large amount of chakra exploded from her body. When the smoke cleared, a twenty year old Naruko appeared, naked. Clouds barely covered her important bits.

She was well endowed, will a small waist but a large ass, and really, really large boobs. She winked and blew a kiss to Iruka, and tried her best to sound timid, "Ne Iruka-sensei, am i doing it right?" She pressed her breasts together and bent forwards slightly. This pushed him over the edge and he fell to the ground with a huge nose bleed. Naruko tranformed back and started laughing uncontrollably.

Lifting a shaking finger, she pointed at Iruka, "Haha! Do you like it? That was my Oiroke no Justu! My personalized version of the Transformation! It's made to incapacitate males!" Iruka sat up and glared harshly.

"Cut the stupid tricks, Naruko. This is your _last warning_." Naruko didn't know where she went wrong, it seemed like a useful technique when she made it, and it fit the qualifications for a  Henge.

Iruka-sensei really hadn't appreciated her technique. After class he took her to the Hokage Monument and she was charged with cleanup duty. She glared as she scrubbed at the paint. Remy popped out of he hood and touched his cold nose to her ear. Naruko squealed in surprise, nearly dropping the bucket of water. Iruka's stern glare weighed heavily on her. "This suck, Remy." The small rodent nodded in agreement.

Iruka _almost_ felt bad. "You're not going home until every last drop of paint is cleaned off." He _almost_ flinched as she glared up at him.

Naruko _almost_ felt like punching his stupid nose. "So what, it's not like there's anyone at home to wait for me, dattebayo." She scrubbed extra hard at the paint, not noticing that Iruka _did_ flinch this time. She moved to the Second Hokage's face.

Iruka felt decidedly uncomfortable. Perhaps he had been too harsh to her. "Ne, Naruko? I was thinking, maybe after you finish scrubbing paint I could take you out for ramen...the good stuff." She shrugged, but he noticed she worked a little faster. Maybe they were still okay. Naruko was pretty forgiving. Iruka smiled to himself, she was a good kid...mostly.

Later one Iruka-sensei led her to Ichiraku's- the makers of the best food in the world, dattebayo! She loved Teuchi-jiji and Ayame-neechan. They were definitely the best cooks ever! Since Iruka was paying, she could probably get two bowls tonight. She began to slurp down her miso ramen. She could feel Iruka's gaze, so she stopped eating and turned to him, one eyebrow raised.

"Hey Naruko, why would you do that to the Hokage's faces? I mean, you know who the Hokage are, don't you?" She nodded in agreement. Iruka was probably the only person to every think about why she pranked people.

"Of course I know who they are. Everybody does. The were the greatest shinobi of their time, right?" At his slight nod, she continued, "The best of the best. And the Fourth Hokage was the one who saved the village from the nine-tailed fox, and he was the most amazing Hokage yet. But I do pranks because I want to see people happy and smiling, dattebayo! A future Hokage should want her people to be happy. And safe. And I am going to become the best Hokage Konoha has ever seen! Me- the first female Hokage! A ninja legend! Then everyone will stop hating me and I will be acknowledged as Naruko Uzumaki, not dead-last, dobe, idiot, brat..." She leaned forwards and whispered to herself, "or demon." Then she returned back to the bowl of ramen.

Umino Iruka, hardcore chuunin and academy teacher, was sure there was tears in his eyes. Because damn it all, he was beginning to grow attached and believe in her. The she turned to him again, "Ano, Iruka-sensei? Can I ask you a favor?" He nodded. "Can I try on your headband?"

"This?" He pointed to his headband. At her confirmation, he shook his head, "No way. You can only wear a leaf headband when you graduate from the academy tomorrow. You gotta be a ninja and earn a headband."

She whined and slammed her fist down, "Iruka-sensei, that is _so_ uncool!" He chuckled and she sighed, "Can I at least have another bowl of ramen?" Iruka was ashamed to say he may have slammed his face on the counter.

It was the day of the final exam, and Naruko had woken up late. She was tired from the excess amount of manual labor from the day before. But her exhaustion was immediately forgotten as her eyes landed on the alarm clock. "Oh no! I'm gonna be late!" She practically threw herself into her jumpsuit, nearly breaking the zipper as she hurried to the Academy.

Inside the classroom, Iruka was nowhere to be found. Many students sat at their desks. She slid into the nearest one just as Iruka came through another door. "We will now begin the Final Exam! The test will be on the Clone Justu." He called the first name. A civilian walked into the room and the door closed.

Meanwhile, Naruko was in sheer panic. "The Clone Justu?! That's my worst technique! I'll never pass now." She slammed her head on the desk. Half an hour later, she was still in the same position. Many were beginning to wonder if she had taken a cue from Shikamaru and decided to sleep away the problem. Iruka re-entered the room.

"Naruko Uzumaki! Final Exam!" She peeled her forehead off the table and slowly stoodup. Naruko knew this was bad news. She dragged her feet across the floor and entered the exam room. "Okay, Naruko. Perform the Clone Justu." She nodded, absently noticing her head felt heavy.

She crossed her fingers in the Hitsuji hand seal and exclaime, "Buunshin no Justu!" Next to her a rather pathetic clone appeared. It curled up on the floor, skin turning pasty and white, and stopped moving. Naruko felt sick, and put a hand over her mouth.

Iruka breathed in, "You fail!" Naruko fell to the ground next to her dead clone and screamed in horror. The man next to him turned, a frown on his face.

"Iruka, she's off and her moves aren't bad, and she did hang in there and replicate. This is her third try so you know she really wants to become a ninja." She looked up, hope in her eyes. "We could cut her a break and let her pass."

Iruka sighed and shook his head, "Mizuki-sensei, the other students created at least three effective replications. Naruko could only creat one, and look at it. It's pitiful- dead, probably. I can't pass her. It would be dangerous for her teammates."

Naruko darted out of the room, head down, and made her way to the swing. She always went to the swing when she was sad. Remy poked his head out of her jacket and squeaked consolingly. She heard the others celebrating with their parents. One girl laughed, "I passed with flying colors." A civilian boy talked excitedly, "They called me first." Someone else was equally happy, "I'm an ninja, a genin!"

The parents were no better. "I wish your grandma were here to see this. I'm so proud of you son, we all are." Choji's mother hugged him, "Congratulations! I'm going to cook all of your favorites tonight. We'll have a feast!" But there were others, civilian parents, who took notice of Naruko sitting by herself.

Two ladies stopped to stare. The first one started whispering conspiratorially "There, do you see her?"

The second one nodded, "Yeah, it's that girl, I hear she's the only one that failed."

The first one smirked, "Serves her right. Just imagine if she became a ninja. I mean, she's the girl who-" Her voice cut off as the second one placed her hand over her mouth.

"Shh! We're not aloud to talk about that!"

Naruko looked down, her throat constricting and eyes stinging from tears that wouldn't fall. Mizuki appeared next to her. "Mizuki-sensei?" He smiled, and put a hand on her back.

"Let's walk Naruko. I think we should talk about something in private."

The Third Hokage sighed as he put away his crystal ball. Naruko could wait. "Iruka, there's something we should talk about."

Mizuki sat with Naruko on top of a ledge. He sighed, and tilted his head upwards to look at the clouds as they passed by. "You know, Naruko, Iruka-sensei's tough, but he's not against you." She turned to him, a hurt and confused look on her face. He looked down towards her. "He wants you to be strong with all his heart, but that will never happen if he goes easy on you." He sighed again. "He's like you, you know. No parents...no family."

Naruko nodded, but still looked upset, "It's just... I really wanted to graduate this time. And he failed me." She looked down, eyes watering. "He was really harsh today. He seemed really disappointed. All I want to do is become a genin so people will stop being disappointed in me." Mizuki chuckled, and Naruko turned to him, glaring at his insensitivity.

"No, Naruko, I'm not laughing at you. But I guess I'll have to tell you a secret." Her eyes widened. "You can't tell anyone now, because I'm trusting you."

Iruka sat on his bed, questioning his decisions. _"Iruka. I know how you feel. You grew up just like Naruko. Not knowing the love of a mother and father, not knowing the warmth of a family."_ He sighed, thinking about why that was, " _Twelve years ago, a nine-tailed fox appeared. The demon was approaching the village. A shinobi ran forwards, 'It's getting too close, call for the Fourth Hokage!' A young Umino Iruka struggled in the arms of another ninja, 'Let me go! My mom and dad are still fighting out there! Let me go!'_ Iruka was shaken out of his reverie as a knock sounded against his door.

He got up and opened it, only to see a panicked Mizuki outside. "Iruka! You need to come to Lord Hokage's right away! It's Naruko! She's stolen the Sacred Scroll!" Iruka's eyes widened. The Sacred Scroll...The Scroll of Sealing. She couldn't have...

Naruko was excited. She successfully stole the scroll! She could graduate if she learned a technique. It was too easy...but it was a test of course, so it would have to be.

 _Earlier, Naruko climbed through a window of the Hokage Tower. Mizuki had told her all about the secret test, she just had to steal the Sacred Scroll, and she would graduate, dattebayo! She grabbed the large roll of paper and made her way back to the window only to have a hand placed on her shoulder. The Hokage was here! "Naruko, what are you doing!?" She giggled, it must be a second test, a test within a test!_

 _"_ _Oiroke no Justu_ _!" Twenty year old Naruko appeared, "Hokage-sama!" She pressed her breasts together. He fell to the ground with a massive nose-bleed. She laughed and returned back to her normal self. "Sorry Jiji!" She climbed out the window and ran to the forest._

"Kage...Bunshin? Great, the first technique is one of my worst...but I'll do it, dattebayo!"

Umino Iruka was a man with a mission...literally. "Why have you done this, Naruko," he mumbled. He felt for his chakra, then pushed it out of him roughly, "Sensing Hexagram Seal!" There! 200 ft to the north- the forest! Then he would find out what was happening.

Naruko was exhausted. She was panting on the forest floor, a satisfied grin adorning her face. She had mastered the Kage Bunshin! She could graduate, then she would become a great shinobi, dattebayo! She heard footsteps, so she sat up and strapped the scroll to her back. It was Iruka-sensei! He had his hands on his hips, and his eye was twitching. He was angry. She giggled and rubbed the back of her neck,

"Caught me already? Not bad. You're pretty quick sensei. I only had time to learn one technique." She spread her arms, "Listen up Iruka-sensei, I'm gonna show you this awesome jutsu and then you're gonna let me graduate and the everything is gonna be okay. That's how it works, right? Anyone who learns a jutsu from this scroll automatically passes!" She smiled brightly as Iruka became confused.

"Huh? Where'd you get that idea?" This time Naruko looked confused.

"Mizuki sensei told me all about the secret test, you don't have to pretend anymore, dattebayo!" Iruka was confused. Mizuki told that to Naruko? It didn't add up. Maybe the Ky- no, Naruko was still Naruko. Iruka suddenly sensed several projectiles heading towards Naruko. He had to keep her safe! Iruka pushed the girl out of the way and took two kunai to the leg.

Mizuki was surprised. He hadn't expected Iruka to be able to find her. It was no matter, one more casualty made no difference. He could frame the Kyuubi brat, "I see you found our little hide away. I must admit, I didn't think anyone would."

Iruka's eyes widened, "So that's what this is. I should have known." Iruka turned to Naruko, opened his mouth, and-

"Naruko, hand over the scroll, now!" Mizuki cut through the silence. Naruko looked between the two, trying to figure out what was happening.

She was extremely confused, but had a niggling suspicion, "Wait a minute, what's going on here?" She looked to Iruka-sensei. He would know the answer like always. Iruka shuddered as he pulled a kunia from his leg and threw it.

He looked down at the girl he had doubted, right in the eye, "Naruko! Don't let Mizuki get the scroll. It contains forbidden jutsu that can put this village in grave danger. Mizuki used you to get the scroll for himself, for his own power!" Naruko gasped, that couldn't be right...could it?

Mizuki glared at Iruka venomously, "Naruko, Iruka is just trying to scare you because he doesn't want you to have the scroll!" Naruko glanced back at Iruka, who stumbled in pain. Pain from the kunai that Mizuki threw, and made her decision. Iruka didn't notice her resolve.

"Stop lying Mizuki! Naruko, don't let him trick you, don't ever let anyone trick you!" Mizuki chuckled, before it escalated so much he was supporting himself with the tree he stood on.

Naruko didn't understand what was funny, but Mizuki decided to elaborate, "Oh I'll tell you who's _really_ been lying! They've been lying to you your whole life Naruko! Ever since the decree twelve years ago!"

"Mizuki, don't tell her-"

"Everyone knows except for you! Your precious Iruka-sensei is trying to hide it from you even now! HA! He'd do anything to shut me up!"

Naruko was beginning to get frustrated, "What is this decree!? Why does everyone else know about it?" Mizuki fell over in laughter.

He looked up, manic tears in his eyes, "The decree is that no one can tell you that the nine-tailed fox is inside of you!" He ignored her gasp, "The fox demon that killed Iruka's parents and destroyed our village is inside you! _You are the nine tailed fox_!" _"Demon brat." "We don't want your kind here!" "The color orange suits you so well,_ _ **fox!**_ _"_ Memories flashed through Naruko's brain as she fell to her knees. She was in shock.

Iruka looked like he was going to cry. The memories brought back were anything but pleasant. He looked at Naruko, who was in tears and clawing at her own skin, and lost it. "STOP IT!"

Mizuki laughed again, "They've been sneaking around hiding things from you your whole _life_ , Naruko! Didn't you think it was _strange_ how they treated you like the dirt beneath their feet? Like they hated you just for _being alive?!_ " She stopped clawing at he skin, wiped at her tears, and glance up at him.

"No. NO NO NO NO!" A blue cloak of chakra surrounded her. Her hands shook, and nails bit into her palms. Iruka reached out, calling her name with sorrow.

Mizuki continued," _THAT'S_ why you'll NEVER be accepted in this village! Even your beloved sensei hates your guts!"

Iruka was caught up in the memory of his meeting with the Hokage. _"Iruka. Naruko never had a mother or father to care for her. She's shut out of everything and doesn't know why. How would you feel if everywhere you went, people turned their back on you? That's why she gets in trouble. She doesn't know why people don't smile at her pranks, when little children can do the same and be praised. So her pranks escalate, hence the Hokage Monument. People finally notice her. It may not show, but she is always thinking about the family she never had. She's hurting inside."_

Iruka snapped out of the memory as he heard Mizuki's exclamation of, "DIE, NARUKO!" Mizuki threw a giant shruiken. Naruko crawled backwards before realizing she couldn't escape. She curled in a ball and waited to be struck. The shruiken never came. She looked up to find Iruka hunched over in front of her. The shruiken stuck out of his back. He coughed and little droplets of blood splattered on her cheek.

Her eyes watered and her face held a silent question: why? He smiled through the pain, "Because we are the same, Naruko." _A young Iruka stood at the academy with no parents._ "When I was a kid, no one seemed to care. They didn't have time for me. They just forgot I was there." _A young Iruka is trying to cross a river by balancing on a rope. But he decided to act like a fool and fell in the water. The other kids began to laugh._ "My grades dropped. I became the class clown. I just wanted them to see me..." _In the river he shrugged and laughed, rubbing the back of his head. The rest of the kids laughed with him. "_...and know my name. My school wasn't enough to the attention, so I did crazy things." _A young Iruka sat in the corner of the classroom by himself._ "And then I had to pay for it. It was hard."

Iruka looked at Naruko as tears fell down his face, "And I know that's how you feel, Naruko. You feel lonely, and it hurts inside. And I could've been there for you more. I let you down, and I'm sorry for that. No one should have to suffer that much. No one should have to be alone like that." Naruko knew her lip was trembling as she glanced up.

Mizuki looked angry as he chuckled, "Don't make me laugh! Iruka always hated you! He was orphaned because the nine-tailed fox killed his parents. And that beast is inside of you. He'd say anything to get that scroll back!" Naruko shook. She ran into the tree line.

Iruka glared at Mizuki. Mizuki smirked back as he jumped down, "You know once she makes up her mind, nothing will change it. She's going to take the scroll and get revenge on the village." Mizuki stood up straight, "You saw the look in her eye, didn't you? Those were the EYES OF A BEAST!"

Iruka stood up straight and pulled the giant shruiken from his back. "Naruko..." He turned and threw it at Mizuki, "Isn't like that!" Mizuki easily dodged the oncoming projectile.

"You are a joke, Iruka. As soon as I eliminate the Kyuubi brat and take the scroll, I'm coming back for you."

Sarutobi Hiruzen was more worried than he had been for a very long time. In his crystal ball, Naruko could be seen dashing through the trees. "This is bad," he muttered. Mizuki had a big mouth. "He made Naruko feel worse than she's ever felt before." Hiruzen pulled his hat down, "It could unleash the power inside of her. If she continues to tamper with the scroll..." Hiruzen looked up towards one Hatake Kakashi, "the seal the contains the Kyuubi could break. The beast will come out. If that happens...I fear for us all."

 **Naruko Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi, was running for her life.** She hid behind a tree. Iruka was disguised as her, and Mizuki was disguised as Iruka. Their guise was up. 'Naruko' kicked 'Iruka' some distance away. 'Iruka' coughed, "How..." A poof of smoke revealed Mizuki. 'Naruko' took the scroll off her back. "How did you know it was me, and not Iruka, Naruko?"

'Naruko' chuckled as smoke exploded around her, "Because _I'm_ Iruka."

Mizuki stood up, "You're a fool. Why're you protecting that _freak_?" Behind the tree, Naruko flinched. "She's the one that wiped out your family, Iruka!"

Iruka glared at him, wiping his mouth, "I don't care what you say, 'cause you're not getting your hands on that scroll!" Naruko leaned forward, angry that was the reason he protected her. He didn't care after all, dattebayo!

Mizuki chuckled, "As if you could stop me?! Don't you get it? Naruko is just like _me_. She wants the scroll for her own power and vengeance. That's how beasts are. She'll poor all her rage into that scroll and destry everything!"

Iruka spoke quietly, "You're right." Naruko gasped, and started to turn away.

"So it's true," she whispered, "Iruka-sensei never believed in me." She hugged the scroll. "He thinks I'm some beast. Some _freak_."

Iruka continued, louder this time, "That is how beasts are." Naruko's eyes widened in disbelief. "But that's not how Naruko is." Her hand covered her small gasp as she berrated herself for thinking badly of the man. "She's nothing like that. Naruko is one of a kind. Works hard, and puts her whole heart into it. Sure, she messes up sometimes, and everyone jumps on that. But her suffering only makes her stronger. _That_ is what separates her from being a beast. So you are wrong. She is nothing like the nine-tailed fox. She is _Naruko Uzumaki, of the village Hidden in the Leaves._ " Naruko began to cry from behind her tree.

Mizuki reached around for his last giant shruiken, "Hmph, so you really believe that drivel?" He pulled the shruiken by his side, "Iruka, I was going to save you for later but I've changed my mind." He began to rapidly spin the metal blade, "You're finished!"

Naruko jumped out and shoved her head in Mizuki's stomach, sending him flying backwards. Iruka's eyes widened in disbelief as she skidded to a stop with the scroll standing tall next to her. She straightened her back, waiting for Mizuki to rise.

He looked up towards her, "Not bad, for a little punk." Naruko shook with rage, her bangs shadowing her eyes.

"If you ever lay a hand on Iruka-sensei..." She looked up, eyes perfectly focused and still, "I'll kill you." Mizuki stood up, laughing.

"Such big words. I can completely destroy you in a single move, brat!" Naruko widened her stance and crossed her fingers to make a plus sign in front of her face.

She smirked, "Give me your best shot, _fool_. I'll give it back a thousandfold!" Mizuki crossed his arms and made the 'come at me' motion. " Kage Bunshin no Justu!" All over the forest hundreds of Naruko clones crouched, in trees and on the ground. All the clones talked at the same time, "What's wrong Mizuki, I thought you could _destroy me in one move_!"

Mizuki stumbled around, "Huh? What is this?" He fell backwards and started crawling, "No!"

The clones laughed, "If you aren't comin' to us, I guess we'll come to you!" Mizuki screamed as the clones piled on him. Moments later it was just one Naruko, Iruka, and a very beat up Mizuki. Naruko scratched the back of her neck, "I guess I got a little carried away, huh?" She dropped her hand, "You okay, Iruka-sensei?"

He let out a breath. "Yeah, I'm alright." Iruka was impressed. He was beginning to believe she would one day be the Hokage. "Come here." He hugged her, "Now close your eyes." When he was sure she wasn't looking, he took off her goggles and replaced them with his headband. "Congratulations, genin Naruko Uzumaki." She looked up at him. The she smiled, and it was as if the sun had come back. Then she grabbed her goggles and place them around his neck.

"Keep them sensei. You've earned it." She winked and Iruka laughed. "Now take me for some ramen! I saved your life you ungrateful ass!" He stood up and both walked calmly through the forest. Everything was right in the world, at least for then.

 **That's all folks!**


	3. I Am Konohamaru!

Photo credit to Zero-Chan

Special thanks to my new followers: TheBlooperM, , and

You can call me Taichou (I'm joking.)

 **AM KONOHAMARU!**

Naruko Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi, looked fantastic. She was facing the wrong way, but she looked over her shoulder in the perfect 'cool pose'. She had stayed up late the previous night thinking of what she would do for her shinobi profile picture. The camera still hadn't flashed so she began to glare.

Genzō was a photographer. He didn't like it when foolish genin brats decided to make foolish genin pictures. He sighed, "You...want me to take a picture with you looking like that?" He raised an eyebrow, genin these days.

Naruko turned around and nodded vehemently, "Yeah, go for it!" She went back into her 'cool pose', making sure to smirk and not smile. She heard Genzō muttering under his breath. The camera flashed. She looked at the picture, and was quite impressed. Her hair was blowing in the wind, headband shining proudly, and her eues held a mischievous twinkle. It was perfect.

Sarutobi Hiruzen sat in one Umino Iruka's classroom, reviewing one particular kunoichi's profile. He sighed, he should have expected something like this from the prankster. He had to admit though, the picture looked good. It just wasn't professional.

Naruko sat before them, a grin on her face. "Whaddaya think? It was hard getting the right expression. It took three hours last night to figure out what I was gonna do!" She laughed, "After all, it isn't something an ordinary shinobi would do...but with my artistic vision-" Hiruzen had slammed his hand on the table.

"Take it over, Naruko. The current one doesn't give a positive image to the village." She stuck her tongue out and shook her head. "In any case, the secret dossiers in the yearbook are an essential intelligence resource for Konohagakure village, so to present a photo like this..."

Naruko exclaimed, "Oiroke no Jutsu!" A naked, 20 year old Naruko pushed her breasts together, "Are you sure, Hokage-sama? Surely you could...make an exception...just this once?" She fluttered her eyelashes. The Hokage flew backwards with a massive nose bleed. He crawled back into his chair as Naruko changed back.

Naruko frowned as she saw a small blue glow of chakra, "Jiji, there is a little boy behind the door." Said door creaked open slowly. She watched curiously and the little boy she had sensed jumped into the room. He was short and had spiky brown hair, a weird helmet, a yellow shirt with the leaf symbol, and a ridiculously long blue scarf. It had to be twice his height in length.

The boy jumped into a very messy taijutsu stance. Not that Naruko had much room to speak. "On guard Jiji!" He exclaimed, "Right!" Naruko was struggling to contain her laughter. Than a tall shinobi with weird spectacles walked into the room.

"Aha! I have found you!" The boy tripped on his own scarf. He yelled out in pain.

"Owwww." The boy jumped up and pointed dramatically, "I get it! It's a trap!"

The tall man looked panicked, "Are you alright, honorable grandson?!" He adjusted his spectacles, "And for the record there are no traps here!"

Naruko looked to the Third Hokage in disbelief, "What the hell is going on? Is this a joke? Who's the kid?!" The little boy looked at her like she was crazy not to know who he was.

The tall man was muttering under his breath, "You!? Don't tell me it's...our village's disgrace...nine..." He coughed.

The little boy pointed at Naruko, "Aha, so you tripped me! It was you, right?!" Naruko was annoyed. She picked him up by the scarf, looked into his eyes, and lifted her other arm.

"You tripped over your own scarf you stupid little boy!" The tall man glared at her, and she glared back.

"Unhand him Naruko! That happens to be the grandson of our revered lord, the Third Hokage!" He adjusted his spectacles. She looked closely at the boy, and then at the Hokage. She decided she didn't care, dattebayo!

Sarutobi Konohamaru had run away from his 'Master Four-Eyes.' He wanted to take the stupid hat from Jiji! So that's were he went. When he charged inside, very gallantly he might add, he found a blonde girl talking to Jiji and use an attack that took him down. So he continued to run, until he tripped on his scarf- er, got tripped by the girl. He accused her, and she grabbed him. But after she learned who he was, she stopped. So, Konohamaru smirked. They always did this once they found out he was the Hokage's grandson. She must be afraid of him, like Master Four-Eyes and everybody else. Heh.

Uzumaki Naruko was pissed off. Who did this little brat think he was? She'd show him and his pompous little ass. With that in mind, she punched the top of his head. "Like I give a shit who you are, you little brat!" Konohamaru whined in pain. Ebisu was practically boring holes into her skull, and Jiji looked somewhat amused. A job well done.

Naruko was walking down the street, and the brat was following her. "Argh you stupid little brat! Stop following me!" He was hidden behind a wooden plank blanket, much like her own...but it was sideways, and she could sense chakra. "That is a _ridiculous_ disguise. If you are gonna use it, don't put it on sideways." The blanket turned 90º so it blended in with the fence...sort of. It was out of line with the grooves. She sighed. "Take one step to your left." He did, a miraculously blended in. Finally.

She started to walk away, and turned her head back to him, "Oh and by the way...I can sense chakra. You'll never fool me." Then she walked away, hips swaying as much as a twelve year old could sway. Konohamaru threw down his blanket.

"Aha! So you saw through my disguise! The rumors of your prowess don't lie!" She paused and turned around, a confused look plastered on her face. Her head tilted to the side.

"Rumors of prowess? Are you talking about my pranks?" He nodded.

"Yeah! Teach me your skills and..." he pointed at her, "I'll become your follower! But you need to teach me the Oiroke too." He concluded with a pout and crossed his arms. "Deal...boss?"

Naruko smirked, "Boss, huh? I like the sound of that..."

Hiruzen held the bridge of his nose. His grandson had run off with _Naruko_. Of all the people it had to be the one that would get him in trouble! Konohamaru is being ruined by over indulgence...these ceaseless attempts at surprise attacks are a persecution to us all...but this time, Konohamaru may have bitten off more than he can chew...Naruko will probably drag him into some harebrained scheme.

Naruko looked down at her student. After showing him many magazines with models, Icha Icha books, and real-life kunoichi, he was ready. "Okay Konohamaru, let's see what you got! Ready...Steady...Go!"

Konohamaru looked determined, "Okay...behold...Henge!" Out of the smoke appeared...a fat, ugly woman in underwear. Again. Naruko sighed, he just wasn't understanding. She led him to a well lit clearing in the forest.

"Pay attention, look closely...now...Oiroke no Jutsu! Twenty year old Naruko giggled ad twirled a strand of her hair. "You need a tight waist," She gestured to her waist, "larger hips, big ass, big breasts, and cute face. She needs to be skinnier-not that skinny. It need to look real at least. This is already unrealistic enough! Taller! Perfect! Good job 'Maru! You did it!" Twelve year old Naruko made a victory sign with her hand. Suddenly she whipped around as she saw a tall chakra figure.

"Hey, 'Maru? Let's eat!" She held up some vending machine food. Both were munching away happily when suddenly Naruko looked up. "Hey, what's your problem with Hokage-jiji anyways?"

He sighed and looked down, "My name- Konohamaru...Jiji named me. Like the village, right? He said it would bring me luck...but even though everyone in the village knows that is what I am called, no one ever calls me that!" His tiny fist clenched. "It's always just 'Honorable Grandson.' No one ever sees me for who I am...just who I'm related to." Naruko looked at him from the corner of her eye. "And I hate it! But it'll be different when i'm Lord Hokage, and that's gonna be real soon!"

Naruko chuckled, and ruffled his hair. "I understand 'Maru. I'm going to tell you something- and you listen good, ne? My name is Naruko Uzumaki. I don't know who named me. I'm an orphan, both my parents died on the evening the Kyuubi attacked. Everyone in the village knows my name, but nobody ever calls me that. I am 'dobe' or 'deadlast.' I am 'idiot' or 'brat.' I am 'demon.' There is a reason people call me these names, one that I cannot change. I was made to be a special person- but I am no one but a failure in the eyes of most." She turned to look at him, "I hate it too. But just because I don't like the way things happen doesn't mean it's gonna change. Which is why you won't be Hokage." He gasped, looking hurt. "At least not yet. You gotta earn that name, and to do that you're gonna have to beat me! 'Cuz _I_ am the next Hokage, dattebayo, and the greatest of them all!"

Hiruzen stood on a platform overlooking the Hokage Monument. All was calm until Umino Iruka appeared. "Lord Hokage, I've been looking all over for you!"

Hiruzen titled his hat, "Hello, Iruka." Iruka looked anxious about something, "What exactly is it you need?"

Iruka blushed, scratching the back of his head, "Has Naruko submitted her Ninja Registration?" The Hokage nodded. "Good. Yesterday I treated her to a stern lecture over ramen. She's been on cloud-nine since she passed the test!" Iruka smiled lightly, "She intends to become a full-fledged kunoichi and earn the respect of everybody in the village."

Hiruzen sighed, looking over the village he both loved and loathed with all his heart. "That may be a difficult dream for her to realize. Only we who were adults at the time of the Great Battle know the truth- that the girl Naruko contains the Nine-Tail Fox spirit that tormented our people until it's defeat a dozen years ago. Disclosure of that secret is strictly forbidden...under pain of the most severe penalty our law can inflict...death." He looked down at the children playing in the street. "As a result, the children of our village know nothing of the truth! Among her peers, at least, Naruko's secret is safe."

Hiruzen looked up at the Fourth's stone face with the heavy feeling of failure. "It was the fondest wish of the Fourth Hokage that our people come to regard Naruko as a savior, a hero. He made that wish for her...sealed her fate...and died. He selected a newborn child, umbilical cord freshly cut and tied within her navel. Naruko was sacrificed, for the safety of us all, to become a living vessel for the imprisonment of the fox.

"But that is not how the adults who know choose to see it. Instead, their treatment of the girl is so contemptuous and hostile- it has been picked up by the children who have no idea of the truth! Iruka...can you imagine? How it must feel...so much hatred and hostility...to be treated with an animosity so intense as to be annihilating...to have around many who deny you even...the _right to live_."

Naruko stiffened as she felt another, larger chakra. "Ne, 'Maru? I think your creepy glasses-sensei is here. Both turned around and stood up. Ebisu practically cried in relief, "There you are!"

Ebisu was horrified. The Honorable Grandson was talking to the damned fox...Naruko!

Naruko could have snarled, if it wouldn't have made the situation worse. There was that look again...the same ugly look from yet another person. There was always someone. Ebisu jumped down infront of them, pushing up his glasses yet again.

"And now, Honorable Grandson,it is time we return home." Konohamaru noticed the look Ebisu sent Naruko's way and became angry.

He crossed his arms and shook his head, "No way! Not yet! I have to kick Jiji's ass" Naruko giggled (he was learning!) "and become the next Hokage! Nee-chan has helped me way more than you, so get lost!"

Ebisu glared at said 'nee-chan.' "The revered Lord Hokage knows and understands the eight principles that are the cornerstones of all knowledge of the shinobi: virtue, justice, ceremony, wisdom, faithfulness, prudence, and filial piety. He is the master of over one thousand illusions and...eh?"

Konohamaru interrupted with his best 'nee-chan' pose, and yelled, "Behold! Oiroke no Jutsu!" In Konohamaru's place study a beautiful, busty brunette pressing her breasts together. "Ebisu-sama!" Konohamaru-chan stomped her foot in frustration before changing back. "Nee-chan! Why isn't it working?!"

Ebisu looked appalled, "Wha-wha...What a _vulgar_ display! Not fit for a gentleman's eyes, and I will _not fall for it_!" Ebisu grabbed Konohamaru's scarf. "Honorable Grandson! If you lower yourself to consort with creatures of this sort you will fall to her level! Only by following my teachings will you ever merit the name of Hokage! Now, let's go home." Konohamaru stomped on Ebisu's foot, forcing him to let go.

"Don't insult my nee-chan!" Naruko smirked.

"Yeah Ebisu, don't insult nee-chan. Or _this_ happens. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" One hundred clones appeared around Ebisu.

Ebisu merely adjusted his glasses and scoffed, "Hah! Child's play! No match for a superior teacher like myself. It would only fool an idiot like Mizuki!"

Naruko's around the clearing snarled, before composing themselves. As one, the called out, "Behold," all smirked, "Oiroke Gyaku Haremu no Justu!" All the blondes in the clearing rushed up to him, pressing their breasts together as purring "Ebisu-sama!" Konohamaru looked shocked. Ebisu flew across the clearing with massive blood loss.

Meanwhile, the Third Hokage face palmed as he gazed into the crystal ball, blood dripping from his nose.

Naruko grinned as she dropped both jutsu, " I call this one my Harem Jutsu, to go with my Sexy Jutsu."

Hiruzen was somewhat impressed, "She combined her Kage Bunshin with her infamous Oiroke? Once again, her first resort is to the most inappropriate trash she could come up with...even I would have succumbed to it.

Konohamaru stomped his foot, "Dammit, I failed to defeat Four Eyes-sensei again, kore! All I want is a name that everyone will respect and I want it now, kore!" Naruko ruffled his hair.

"What did I tell you earlier? You think wanting is all it takes? You're talking about taking the name Hokage, the greatest Shinobi in town, the one everybody respects!" She squinted her eyes, "My whole life it's been one awful thing after another. _I_ even doubted myself. Only one person treats me with any kind of respect...and even he...was nearly impossible to win over. Are you ready to make a commitment?"

She looked towards him. "Commitment...?" He asked.

She nodded her head. "Everybody- and I do mean _everybody_ has the highest respect for the Hokage name! Do you get it now? there are no shortcuts!"

He looked up in awe, "Then from this day forwards...I will not only be your disciple...but your rival! It's your tough luck, because I'll always be one step ahead of you, one step closer to my destiny and a shinobi! But, hell, one day...you and I will fight for the title of Hokage!"

Naruko chuckled, "I'm sure...but you better look forward to that day...Konohamaru!" And she walked away, swaying her hips as best as she possibly could as a twelve year old. As Naruko Uzumaki reached the end of the clearing, her head turned back towards him, "And just to remind you, it'll be difficult to stay one step ahead of me. I'm a true kunoichi already...and I can sense chakra. Good luck getting the jump on me!" Than she used a chakra enhanced jump to leave.

Konohamaru whined in frustration and stomped his foot, "Dammit nee-chan!"

The Hokage watched the scene fondly through his crystal orb. He tucked the sphere back into his desk. Both had a while to go before they became true shinobi...but as the Lord Hokage thought on the day's events and smiled, he saw the dream, and the challenges that lay ahead for Naruko. And he knew she would meet them head on.

 **That's all folks!**


	4. Sasuke and Sakura: Friends or Foes

**Sasuke and Sakura: Friends or Foes.**

 **Special thanks to my new fans: KumorikoKumoriko, RavenCarmoran, Supra18, sming a ling, and Coho Commanche. Love you guys!**

 **I'm begging all of you- take the poll on my profile! It's important for next chapter.**

Uzumaki Naruko, container of the Kyuubi, woke up late. She wanted to scream, today was orientation! But it would work out okay. She still had thirty minutes, and that meant instant ramen and milk, dattebayo! She jumped out of bed. Her ramen broth was boiling, and she needed something to drink. Opening the small fridge, she noticed it was her last carton of milk. Naruko smelled something funny. Her nose scrunched, trying to locate the smell and- son of a bitch it was the milk! She sulked. Water was the only option.

At least the ramen was fulfilling. She patted her tummy in satisfaction. Money well spent, it was. She walked to her closet. Twelve pairs of orange jumpsuit were neatly hung, one in the hamper. Her night clothes were soon replaced by one of the suits. Her frog night cap soon found itself on the table as her shiny new hitai-ate was tied around her forehead. It was going to be a good day, she could smell it. Or maybe that was just the ramen.

She practically ran down the street, before deciding to relax and take her time. She still had ten minutes, and who knew what her new sensei would have her soon-to-be established team do. It seemed she had stopped right on time, too. A small blue chakra presence appeared behind her. Naruko slowly turned around, eyebrow raising as she saw the crappiest disguise in the history of Konoha. A square box painted to look like a rock. "I'm disappointed, 'Maru. I thought you would have hid better, knowing that I'm a sensor and all."

Said boy jumped out and pointed dramatically at her, "Just as I would expect from my nee-chan and future rival! Only you would see through my cunning disguise, kore!" He stepped forwards, only to trip on his scarf.

"I'm pretty sure anyone could see through that disguise, 'Maru. There aren't any square rocks- never have been, never will be." Konohamaru pouted as he got up and stood by her. "Anyways, I can't stay and chat long, I've got genin orientation today." He nodded with a sense of importance around him.

"Of course, Naruko-nee! I will walk with you." Both walked down the street, civilians frowning at the duo. Because why would the Honorable Grandson be speaking with _her_ , the demon. "So, nee-chan! Do you know your team yet?"

She chuckled softly, "No, but I hope I'm not stuck with Sasuke-Teme, or Sakura, dattebayo. She hates me, and he's an asshole. Or Ino for that matter. I don't know why she doesn't like me either. And Shino is kinda creepy. Meh, we'll see." A frown marred her face though, there were so many awful possibilities!

* * *

Haruno Sakura stood in front of her mirror. It was going to be a _fantastic_ day, cha! Sasuke-kun would be placed on a team with _her_ not Ino-pig. Because true love conquers all, shannaro! She chose to wear her short red kimono, and her navy leggings, because those were Uchiha colors, and she fully planned on being one later in life. And it all bean with today, as she was placed with Sasuke-kun and whoever else was _lucky_ enough to get a spot on their team. As long as it wasn't Naruko-baka.

Her thoughts were interrupted as her mother called up to warn her about the time. She knew the time! She wasn't a baby, shannaro! She stomped- _lightly treaded_ \- downstairs and began her journey to the Academy. It was a bright day, very sunny, just like her. Her mood immediately dropped as Ino-pig walked out of her family flower shop. Great.

She would be cool and collected, because it would look like she didn't care about seeing the blonde, which see _didn't_. She slowly walked towards her, head held high. "Ino-pig." Then said girl looked over as if noticing Sakura for the first time. She scrutinized the blonde, looking for flaws, and found nothing. She scowled.

"Forehead." Such a bitch, shannaro! Fucking bitch, pointing out her only flaw. Well, it didn't matter. Today love would be victorious and Ino-pig would be stuck in her little Ino-Shika-Cho group. All's well that ends well. But, to rub it in more, she would arrive first at the Academy, and make Ino-pig look bad in front of Sasuke-kun, cha! And thus began the last footrace the two would have.

* * *

Naruko walked into the classroom with a sigh. The little gaki was adorable, but the questions never ended! Was this how Jiji felt when he invited her once weekly as a kid? Nah, she was an amazing kid, dattebayo! She looked up at the desks, somewhat wistfully. She didn't know when she would be in here again. There were only a couple of empty desks. The closest one was next to Ducky. Her small smile twisted into a frown. The next desk was by Hinata-chan, but she was always quiet and red. The last was next to Shikamaru, but that was too _troublesome_. The others were too far away. At least Teme was quiet.

She walked swiftly to the desk. Teme looked up at her, and eyebrow raised, and she stuck out her tongue. Childish, but effective. This was once again proven as he scowled and turned back to the front of the class. She followed suit, a frown and scrunched nose to accompany her glare. Stupid asshat, always brooding. Then she heard the sound of doomsday. The stampeding of the _fangirlis hystericus_. She could change seats, but her lapse in thought would cost her. It was too late.

"FIRST!" Both shouted at each other. The girls then proceeded to argue about who should get to sit next to _Sasuke-kun_. Naruko sighed and put her head on the desk. It should be a while before- she was shoved to the ground. What the hell, dattebayo, she should have had three more minutes, but Sakura-fucking-Haruno decided to cut the fight short. BITCH BITCH BITCH!

Shikamaru walked down and offered a hand. She took it gratefully but...why would Shikamaru of all people come down? "Hey Naruko, what are you doing here? This isn't the place for dropouts, this is the genin orientation." Oh yeah. That explains his sudden act of kindness. Her previous smile was replaced with a scowl.

She pointed to her hitai-ate, voice sickly sweet as if she were speaking to a child, "You see this, Shikamaru? This is a _regulation headband_ , which mean I will be training _just like you_ , and I will do missions _just like you_ , and then, guess what?" She tapped his hitai-ate, looking condescending all the while, "I will be better," tap, "stronger," tap, "and more talented over all." Then she flicked her pigtails and walked away...back to her seat next to Sasuke-teme. Then, to diffuse the tension, she stuck out her tongue to Shikamaru.

"NARUKO-BAKA WHY ARE YOU NEXT TO SASUKE AGAIN!" Sakura got up in her face, and Naruko sneezed. She was then the reciever of one hell of a punch to the head. Fuck. Luckily Iruka-sensei, Kami bless him, walked in.

"Everybody sit down, you'll get your team assignments when you settle down." Sakura sat down on Ducky's other side- _there was another chair, dattebayo?!_ \- and Iruka-sensei cleared his throat. There in his hands lay the ominous clipboard.

"Team One,"

Naruko was 100% certain that she was going to die in this classroom waiting for her name to be called. Eventually her focus was set on the clock, watching as the minutes passed. Except a minute hadn't passed yet. Her head met the desk with a dull thud. Then something happened.

"Team Seven will be Uzumaki Naruko," She may have gotten whiplash, "Haruno Sakura," Her head leaned back as she cried on the inside, "and Uchiha Sasuke." Her head met the desk once more as she cried out in despair. "Your sensei will be Hatake Kakashi. Go get lunch." Apparently Iruka had gotten tired of her commentary. As she got up, her foot caught on the corner leg of the table, and she fell...on Sasuke Uchiha.

Their lips were touching, what are people supposed to do in this situation?! She jumped up only to fall back on the floor in fetal position, "Why me?!" Sakura's eye was twitching, Sasuke didn't appear to be doing anything but wiping his mouth, and Iruka's mouth had fallen open.

* * *

Sarutobi Hiruzen was sure sweat was rolling down his forehead. Naruko, why?! She shocked him too often, one day his heart would fail. When he saw her fall on top of the last Uchiha, his pipe fell from his mouth. Here he was, in front of a group of possible Jonin sensei, looking at prospective genin. He lost his composure, and he was certain Hatake Kakashi was smirked beneath that blasted mask of his.

The poor girl had been assaulted and irritated. Then the Nara boy came down stairs to help her, which ended with a full frontal verbal attack from his surrogate granddaughter. Then the three students with the worst relationships- Naruko, the Haruno girl, and the Uchiha, were named as a team and nobody looked satisfied.

This was just like the previous Team Seven, and the one before that. It seemed that history was doomed to repeat with the same characters. Luckily there would be no tragic love triangle this time around. Hopefully.

The Jonin looked amused, if anything. This would be interesting, at least.

* * *

Once the group left the classroom, Naruko found herself pinned against the wall by none other than Sakura herself, "Naruko you _hussy_! You stole Sasuke-kun's first kiss!" Naruko slapped her. The girl had no sense of boundaries, this was beginning to be ridiculous. But she forced a grin on her face.

"Sorry, Sakura, there was something on your face." The she walked away quickly, it was best to avoid the best while possible. Lunch time! But...no lunch. This was going to suck, dattebayo. Whatever, hopefully their sensei would make up for her team.

...

Three hours. Three. Damn. Hours. They had been waiting that long for their Sensei to _grace them_ with his presence. He deserved what was coming to him. She placed the chalkboard eraser on the door hinge. It had glitter. A large, blue chakra appeared...it was... _Dog Breath_?" His familiar gravity defying hair followed him through the door, and _poof_! The eraser fell. "My first impression of you guys is...I don't like you."

Sakura, of course, had to speak up, "I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen."

"Meet me on the roof in five." With that, he disappeared with an influx of chakra and swirl of leaves. She needed to learn how to do that, dattebayo! Naruko pumped her legs as she sprinted up the stairs, so many stairs! But she reached the roof in two minutes, Ducky soon after, and all three had to wait on Sakura to catch up. She finally appeared, panting for air.

Kakashi nodded at her, "Okay, now that everybody is here, let's start with introductions."

Sakura raised a brow, "Like what, Sensei?" Naruko rolled her eyes, not that she knew any better.

Kakashi adopted a thinking pose, appearing as though her were deep in thought,"How about your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and dreams for the future." Then he nodded as a conclusion.

A tense silence ensued, as nobody wanted to start. Shifting uncomfortable, Naruko spoke up, "How about you go first _Sensei,"_

He nodded his assent, "My name is Hatake Kakashi. My likes are too old for you, my dislikes are not important...my dreams for the future...I have many hobbies." All three genin looked dumbfounded. "Okay," he clapped once, "Blondie, go."

Naruko grinned at him, "My name is Uzumaki Naruko! I like ramen, especially Ichiraku's! I hate the three minutes it takes to cook ramen," she frowned, "and Sakura, and Ducky!" She pointed at each person, then grinned, "and you Sensei! Nah, I'm joking, you're okay. My hobbies include pranking, thinking about pranking, and coming up with pranks...and talking to Jiji I guess. My dream is to become the greatest Hokage ever, so people will acknowledge me...for me, dattebayo!"

Kakashi gestured at Sakura, "Your turn Pinky!"

"My name is Haruno Sakura! I like..." She giggled and glanced at Sasuke. What a brainless fangirl, dattebayo. "My hobbies include..." She giggled and glanced at him again. "My dreams for the future..." She giggled even harder and turned red.

Kakashi sighed, "And your dislikes?"

Sakura whipped around and glared at Naruko with venom in her voice, "Naruko!"

Kakashi nodded and then pointed at Teme. "Your turn, Ducky." Sasuke made a point to glare at the girl who came up with the name, before straightening his back.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are many things I dislike, given that there is almost nothing that I do like. It is pointless to talk about dreams...that is just a word...but one thing I do have is determination. I will restore my clan. And I have sworn to kill...a certain man."

Kakashi nodded at all three. "Okay. Tomorrow we begin the test at training ground three. Meet me there at seven in the morning."

Sakura looked confused, "Sensei, another test? We just passed the Academy..."

The Jonin chuckled, "That was just a test to determine who would qualify as genin. You are not genin yet. Only 66% of graduates go on to become genin. That's three teams. Oh...don't eat breakfast, you'll throw up." With that he disappeared again.

Naruko jumped of the building and onto a tree. She would need all the sleep she could get. Instant ramen was sounding pretty good right then. It didn't matter what the damn Jonin had said, she would pass, dattebayo! Even if that meant Sakura and Ducky passed as well.


	5. Pass or Fail: Survival Test

**Special thanks to my new fans: cookiepandaluv, ireliathebladetranceder, theundeadhero95, Acnologia Prime, Excidios, cfaithcsf, and whiskerxoxo.**

 **So far for the poll Shikamaru is in the lead.**

 **I'm a beta reader now! PM if you're interested.**

 **Pass or Fail: Survival Test**

Naruko Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi, woke up at six in the morning. Kakashi-sensei had told them to be at training ground three by seven. She wasn't sure what kind of test this would be, but if only nine people passed, it had to be intense. An alarm sounded as her instant ramen finished cooking. She had just gotten around to buying another carton of milk last night, and thank goodness. With something as strenuous as learning new jutsu or something she needed what she could get.

She decided to keep Remy home today, because if he got hurt then bad things would happen. To the assailant, not her, dattebayo. She strode over to her closet to find another jumpsuit. Orange was the _best_ color in the world! Naruko glanced at the alarm clock. After eating and getting changed, it was already 6:30! Deciding that her hair would be fine without brushing it, two twin tails adorned her head.

After locking up the apartment, Naruko walked down the street in search of the training grounds. She hadn't seen them for quite some time. This could be a problem. Then her eyes landed on a familiar head of pink. Thank, kami! Sakura had to know where they were...but she wouldn't approach the temperamental girl. She didn't need the bruise.

Sakura turned left abruptly, despite the fact there wasn't a street in that direction. Then Naruko realized...the other girl was looking for Ducky. Bitch. She turned away to try and find it herself. Oh, of course. A small, blue chakra signature appeared. "'Maru, how many times are we gonna go through this? I can sense chakra, gaki."

Konohamaru was about to begin his little intro when suddenly she interrupted, "Do you know where training ground three is?" The little boy pointed to his left...where it had been _all along?!_ She could have smacked herself, but refrained from doing so in front of her little follower. "Thanks, dattebayo! Later!"

She took off, hoping she wasn't late.

* * *

Hatake Kakashi liked to think he made his own decisions, constantly defied the higher ranks, but...he knew he couldn't fail this team. Sure, they were bound to be dysfunctional, and of course it was a train wreck...but the last Uchiha and Namikaze were on that team. But only one of them knew their heritage, and it wasn't the happy-go-lucky blonde idiot that put glitter in his hair.

Damn that glitter took forever to get out...he shook his head. Kakashi's eye twitched as some glitter dust fell on his little orange book. He could already feel the headache coming on.

But if he couldn't fail them...he could at least make sure to put them through hell for making him become a sensei. Maybe beat the shit out of Ducky. He snorted, wondering how in the hell Naruko Uzumaki had come up with such a ridiculous name. And...since the girl was a sensor...did she recognize him? It didn't matter. He could stay home for exactly three more hours before he was obligated to show up. Three hours late, just like Obito...

His red eye tingled.

* * *

Naruko punched a tree. Over and over again. Stupid ass excuse for a Sensei. It had been two hours, almost three, and he still hadn't shown up. She had stretched, ran, stretched again, yelled in frustration, plucked grass blades in frustration, and now she was punching a tree. It didn't matter that there was a dent and broken bark. As long as her substitute sensei remained standing she was not done.

When she had arrived, Teme looked as if he hadn't slept a night of his life, and Sakura, while tired, stared at him in admiration. "Hey..." she had mumbled, not really in the mood to talk to either of them. The feeling was slowly replaced as the minutes passed by. Theat was when she couldn't stand to stay still any longer, and started the stretch. Her thighs had been unusually tight, but running had helped a little. And after all that she had done to pass the time, she was still waiting.

Stupid. Punch. Excuse. Punch. Of. Punch. A. Punch. Sensei. Punch. The tree fell down. It would have been more impressive if the tree was big. Naruko collapsed to the ground, rolled onto her tummy, and began to pluck a new patch of grass. She could feel the eyes of her teammates watching her. Apparently she was good enough entertainment until Hatake arrived. Her head slammed down to the ground.

Then an influx of chakra appeared. She jumped up, finger pointed accusingly, "YOU'RE LATE! THREE HOURS LATE!" Sakura nodded beside her, eye twitching. The Naruko smirked, "Oiroke no Jutsu!" The buxom blonde appeared, twirling hair and leaning forwards slightly, "And for your punishment..." She sauntered forwards, the sucker punch him in the stomach. Twelve year old Naruko appeared in her place, fuming. "Bastard Sensei!" Kakashi had stayed in place, giggling perversely. It didn't matter. She would find his weakness another day.

Sensei clapped his hands once, then set an alarm clock for twelve. Then he held up two bells, "Sorry, a black cat crossed my path and I had to take the long way around. You have until noon to catch these bells...and to get them, you must attack me with the intent to kill. Good luck."

Sakura intervened, "Sensei, there are only two bells, but three of us!" He nodded.

"Whoever does not get the bell will be sent back to the Academy, after being tied to a post while the rest of us eat. That means all three of you could fail...or only one." Two genin's stomachs growled. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at Naruko, "Did you eat breakfast?" She nodded, a grin on her face.

"You _suggested_ we didn't eat, but I was hungry..." then she grumbled under her breath, "plus I forgot." Then she looked up, "I need a full tank for survival, dattebayo!" Then she grabbed a kunai, come at him with the intent to kill, huh? Well...she could catch him by surprise... Naruko suddenly sprang into action, kunai aimed at his jugular. The blade was about an inch from his throat when- his hand grabbed her arm, pushing her to the ground.

"Good, but I haven't said to start yet." She shrugged, brushing her legs. "Now...go!" Sasuke and Sakura immediately jumped in different directions. Naruko knew she should hide, but evading this man was what she was best at. "A basic for a ninja is the ability to hide...huh?" He seemed to notice her. "The others are well hidden. You...are a little strange, Blondie. Lesson One: Taijutsu..." He reached into his pouch, only to pull out a small orange book and begin to read." She crossed her arms, eyebrow raised.

"This is not a fair fight, _Inu_." He looked surprised. "and the only strange thing here is your hair." She widened her stance, fingers crossing to make a plus sign, " Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Five clones appeared. Four surrounded the original. The last crossed her arms, "Say, Sensei...how good is your eye?" With that, the four other clones and the original swapped places with many "Kawarimi!"

Naruko had devised the perfect plan, dattebayo! She had not summoned five clones, but six. The sixth hid her chakra, and stayed underwater in the stream. Then the original had used the Kawarimi to switch with the one underwater during the first clone switch. Her Sensei had taken out the remaining clones. He body switched with a laog and appeared behind the last clone, and crossed his fingers in the tiger seal. Fire.

Her clone's head began to twist around when- "Konohagakure Secret Taijutsu Technique: Sennen Goroshi!" The clone looked confused as nothing happened, until Kakashi's index and middle finger entered her ass. The clone went flying into the sky, before poofing into smoke. Kakashi cursed. The girl had wasted his time. Naruko was really tempted to shout rape, but didn't want to give away her position. So she created another clone, both climbed out of the river. The original took off into the forest, while the clone had revenge on her mind.

She crawled dramatically towards Kakashi, "You are so _cruel_ Sensei. But don't worry- RAAAPPEE!" Nothing happened. "Damn. I really thought that would-" The clone poofed as a kunai poked her stomach. Kakashi jumped off into the tree line to begin the search for another victim.

Naruko flinched as the memories from her clone appeared. Hatake would pay, dattebayo. Her fist clenched and she walked to the clearing again. A bell was on the ground...either he was in a hurry or... she walked over, and threw a shruiken at the bell. A rope trap fell down, and the bell flew seven feet away. Kakashi jumped out of the bush, "You know, Blondie...I really thought you would go for the bell. No matter." He grabbed the bell and disappeared again. Naruko felt the sudden chakra influx from the other girl on the team, just as a scream rang through the forest. But not before Kakashi's chakra reached out towards Sakura. Genjutsu then.

She knew she couldn't beat him but...there was no way she was going to go back to the Academy. She _was_ ready to be a ninja, dammit! It didn't matter what other people thought, because the only one that mattered was herself and her precious people!

* * *

Umino Iruka sat before the Hokage, a hot pot of tea on the table between them. He was worried...Naruko's sensei was none other than the famed Hatake Kakashi...the rumors about him were...concerning. The Hokage sighed, "What is it you would like to know, Iruka? I doubt you just wanted to have tea with me?" Iruka blushed a little in embarrassment, scratching the back of his neck.

"What kind of sensei does Naruko and the rest of Team Seven have?" It was best to be forward, he decided. "Is he strict?" The Hokage put his pipe down and folded his hands carefully.

The Hokage raised an eyebrow, "Are you speaking of Kakashi? Does he worry you?" Iruka, blushed a little, and leaned back.

"Sorry, Hokage-sama, it's just that I heard a rather disturbing rumor about him." The Hokage 'hmmmd' in thought. Then the old man turned around to grab something. It was a book, titled 'The Way of the Ninja.' "Hokage-sama?"

The man sighed, "This is the Pass/Fail list of the genin Kakashi was placed in charge of." He held out the book to Iruka. Inside there were...uncountable fails, and _no passes?_

"This is... No way! This is more than the rumors said about him!" His eyes were wide and Iruka turned up to stare the Hokage in the eye. The old man sighed, and steepled his fingers once more.

"Kakashi's tests...may be a bit more challenging than the other's, but-"

Worry was written all over his face, "But this...it says here that _no_ team has passed!" Iruka's voice quivered, Naruko...would she be able to pass?

"That is correct...Kakashi had never passed a team..." Shadows covered the Hokage's eyes...

* * *

Sasuke hid in the shadows. Kakashi had taken out Sakura, and would most likely be searching for him. He did not understand this test...one genin against one jonin didn't add up...but if he could not defeat this jonin, he would never be able to defeat the one he strove for... _Itatchi_. Kakashi stood in the clearing, alone. _This_ was his chance. He grabbed two shruiken and four kunai, throwing each in quick succession towards to unsuspecting jonin. The tall man was hit and sent flying.

Sasuke's eyes widened, before narrowing suspiciously. Blood splattered everywhere, but- a kunai was pressed to his neck. Of course. "It was only too easy to defeat Sakura. You disappoint me." His sensei continued to read 'Come Come Paradise' even as he spoke.

His eyes narrowed, "But...I am different from my teammates." Kakashi smirked.

"Why don't you say that _after_ you get a bell." The jonin walked forwards slowly staring down. The Sasuke smirked, it was a trap. He threw a kunai at the rope hanging precariously, which triggered an arsenal of weapons which flew towards the older man. Sasuke darted behind and threw a roundhouse kick to the back. Kakashi grabbed his leg, seemingly trapping him. But the last Uchiha wasn't done yet, and attempted to punch his masked mouth. His arm was also caught. His left leg swung out and was blocked.

Sasuke now faced the ground...but the bells were right there. His fingers brushed the bells before they became just out of reach. Kakashi was toying with him. "You are different..." The jonin pocketed his book.

Sasuke snarled, made the tiger hand seal, and shouted, "Katon: Gōkyakū no Jutsu!" The large fireball leapt from his mouth...but made contact with nothing. He glanced all around, up, and could not find his sensei.

"Beneath you!" He heard the voice just after a hand grabbed his ankle and pulled him underground. Sasuke Uchiha was now stuck, only his head remained on the surface. "How is it? Can't move? Lesson number three: Ninjutsu." Then there was a swirl of leaves and Sasuke was left to his own devices.

* * *

Naruko was nervous. She had felt the fight between Ducky and Sensei, and it was clear which one of them won. Then she noticed the log posts with the food...if she could just reset the alarm clock by the lunches...and eat. She nodded to herself. She darted through the clearing, trying to cloak her chakra as best as she could. Just as she grabbed a lunch box there was a hand on her shoulder...and it was all over. The alarm went off. Sensei tied her to the post and had the other two grab a bento box.

Kakashi began, "Well, none of you have to go back to the Academy..." Sakura laughed joyously, Sasuke sat still and Naruko was still tied to a post.

"But Sensei, are you sure it's okay? All I did was faint..." Sakura giggled nervously. Kakashi nodded towards her in recognition.

"None of you have to go back to the Academy, if fact none of you should go back. All of you should quit being ninja! None of you deserve to be one, or even have a reason!" Sasuke looked angry, and charged at him. Kakashi flipped Ducky onto his stomach and put one leg on his back. Grabbing the boy's head, he placed a kunai against his neck.

Sakura turned red from anger, "I'll kill you if you hurt Sasuke-kun, shannaro!" Kakashi's face quickly turns from amusement to anger.

"None of you pass, because you fail to understand the point of this exercise...TEAMWORK!" Naruko stopped squirming, mouth open, as she realized why there were only two bells. "One of you would have had to betray your team or fail for the others to pass...if all three of you had worked together, at least two of you would have had a chance to pass...but now none of you can. Sakura, kill Naruko or Sasuke dies." Naruko began to squirm again, not liking her chances.

"Tha...that's not fair!" Kakashi nodded.

"That's an example of what can happen if each person on a team works for an individual goal alone. This stone," He walked over to a tall polished stone with numerous names carved on it. "This stone holds the names of this village's heroes. Only heroes that die in battle for their village have their names carved here. Some of my friend's names are on this list." He turned around and began to walk away, "You can have another chance after lunch, just don't feed Naruko. She already tried to eat one." Kakashi disappeared.

Naruko's stomach grumbled as she watched her teammates eat lunch. "I think we should make a strategy against him...right?" Both nodded. Her stomach grumbled again. Ducky stood up and offered her food silently. She tried to move her arms but...they were tied with rope. "It's okay, guys. I can do this..." Her stomach growled again. Rice was shoved in her mouth by a glaring Sasuke.

"You won't be holding us back when we fight." Then he turned away. Naruko raised an eyebrow in his direction, but damn this food was delicious, dattebayo! Then she shivered, Sensei's chakra appeared.

"Guys! Kak-" The jonin appeared from a cloud, looking as frightening as he did angry.

"YOU...PASS!" All their mouths opened. "You three are the first. You put your team's needs before my orders. In the world of shinobi...those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their friends are even worse than trash! Team Seven will begin missions tomorrow."

Sakura untied Naruko, thankfully, and all four walked away from Training Ground Three, and the beginning of Team Seven occurred.

 **Reviews are appreciated!**


	6. A Dangerous Mission! Journey to the Land

**Sorry for the late update! Nikoru and myself went to the beach with some friends, and Katie got _so_ sunburnt! It was insane!**

 **Special thanks to all my fans and KumorikoKumoriko for giving A+ advice!**

 **A Dangerous Mission! Journey to the Land of Waves!** **重要任務** **!** **波の国へ超出発** **!**

Naruko Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi, was chasing a cat. As it turned out, D ranked missions sucked _ass_. Between plucking weeds and painting fences, she couldn't help but feel that she was a glorified house maid. At least she didn't have to wear a uniform. "This is Blondie point A. I guess." She did not want to be doing this. The static from the earpiece halted momentarily.

"This is... _Ducky_... point C." Naruko smirked. The fact that Kakashi-sensei continued to use her childhood nickname for the soul purpose of annoying him was _priceless_. It would also be better if they weren't doing chores everyday.

"This is Sensei point B." Kakashi-sensei's voice interrupted the crackle in her ear. Then the three of them waited for Sakura. Naruko hit her head against the tree trunk behind her. This was getting uncomfortable.

"This is...Pinky...point D." That meant she had to be in the bush across the clearing. Mission 'Capture Tora the Cat' had already taken about an hour. She heard Kakashi sigh over the intercom.

"Sakura, you took too long. Move in on my count...three...two...one!" Many things happened all at once. Sakura jumped out of her bush and and ran towards Tora. Sasuke jumped from the underbrush to the left and closed in on the target. Kakashi appeared out of nowhere (his chakra was actually behind a tree, but the others didn't know) and flanked the cat's right.

Target was five feet away...four...three...two...NOW! She dropped from the tree branch, arms and legs curled. Her back arched so she wouldn't crush the target upon impact. The plan worked! She laughed maniacally, the damn cat was captured! Tora snarled and scratched and her captor's tummy.

"YOU GODDAMN DEMON CAT FROM HELL!" Naruko was _past_ angry, dattebayo. Kakashi's eyebrow had receded to his hairline, and Sasuke smirked lightly. She grabbed the cat by the scruff of it's neck and held it away from her body. There was a hole in her jumpsuit where the demon cat had scratched. She looked at her tummy...only to see the wound closing up right before her eyes. She glanced up nervously and covered her stomach with a struggling Tora, wrapping her arms around the cat's stomach and pressing it's back over her skin.

No one had to know.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha, sole survivor of the Uchiha Massacre and Rookie of the Year, stared at his blonde teammate. While convinced the two girls on his team would be undoubtably useless in the future, at least the Dobe was useful _now_. She was an...enigma, to say the least. Her strength was impressive, for a girl, and he supposed her stealth levels had to be off the charts to be able to hide in that orange eyesore.

He wasn't _jealous_ of the Dead Last. He wasn't. He realized that the girl must have some genetic ability that allowed her to sense chakra. He realized that he would only ever be able to pinpoint chakra and sense how many signatures there were. He realized that he would never be able to tell one signature from another, but...

The Dobe had unconscious healing abilities too? Well, apparently she was no longer in the dark about them, as when she looked down at her stomach she noticed the wounds closing up. Naruko had attempted to hid it from them with a cat, and though he was certain that Haruno had missed the enigma, someone as highly trained as their Sensei would never be fooled.

Neither would he, because he was an Uchiha, and more skilled than the pink haired girl on the team...along with the rest of their class. If the Dobe had something to hide, she better hide it better.

* * *

Naruko smirked, watching the demon cat suffocate in the embrace of Madam Shijimi, wife of the Fire Daimyo. The damn thing deserved it, dattebayo! Next to her, Ducky wore a similar expression, as the cat had made life difficult for them all. Kakashi seemed indifferent to everything, so it didn't matter either way. And Sakura...it didn't matter, she wasn't important to Naruko anymore.

After the ecstatic woman bounced out of the room, Hokage-jiji turned to them, barely glancing at the scratch mark on her jumpsuit. Iruka's eyebrows were furrowed. The old man cleared his throat, "Your next mission can be one of the following: baby sitting Yojyu-sama's boy, grocery shopping for-"

She had stomped her foot down, arms crossed, with chakra channeled in her foot. She _had_ meant to make a rumble for effect, but her chakra control was still awful and she overestimated...a lot. Her foot went straight through the floor. Deciding to play it off, she yanked her foot back up, and began her argument, "NO. I refuse to be a glorified house maid. One day you get a complaint for an orange jumpsuit, and the next thing you know, they'll shove you in a skimpy maids outfit! No, wait. Let me start over."

She shifted the other way, annoyance practically oozing off of her, "I am a _registered ninja_." Her voice was relatively quiet, for her. "A ninja does _missions_... not household chores." She pouted and turned away. While the Hokage merely sighed, Iruka jumped up in anger.

"Naruko! Show some respect to your Hokage! People come to the village every day to request tasks. Those missions are then divided based on difficulty levels, hence the A, B, C, and D rank missions- just like ninja are divided by Hokage, Jounin, Chuunin, and Genin according to their abilities. A ranks are assigned to Jounin, B and C ranks for Chuunin, and C to D ranks to Genin..."

By then he had noticed that Naruko was talking to her teammates about...ramen. "I personally like the miso, but pork is always good!" Her chirpy voice hid her devious smirk.

The Hokage's eye twitched, "Naruko! Pay attention when people talk to you!" Naruko turned to him, fists clenched in rage.

"Why?! No one does it for _me_!" Her hands covered her mouth as she glanced at her team. She hunched down on the ground, breath held in both anger and nervousness. Jiji sighed, and hand predictably held to his forehead.

Sounding almost tired, he called out to his receptionist. "Bring in Tazuna!" He turned back to the girl. "This is your first C rank. You will be pr-" He was interrupted upon the clients arrival. Naruko snorted before she could help it.

"I pay you all my money and you give me this? I doubt any of them could hold your weapons well, and the short girl shouldn't even be a ninja!" Everyone who knew Naruko held their breath in fear. Said girl snarled and lunged towards the man, only to stop short as Kakashi grabbed her jumpsuit. "My name is Tazuna, the bridge building expert. You will protect me with your lives until the bridge is completed." Then he burped, stench of alcohol assaulting Naruko's sensitive nose.

Kakashi sighed, knowing this was going to be a long mission- in a way that had nothing to do with the days to pass. "Meet me at the gates in an hour. Pack for a couple weeks worth of travel." With an influx of chakra, he disappeared in a whirlwind of leaves. Not for the first time, Naruko wondered if that jutsu could be performed without the added effect of leaves. If she put more chakra, maybe...it would look _so_ badass if she disappeared in flame, dattebayo! One day she would do _that_ to Kakashi-sensei... and scare him shitless!

She ran out of the room, feeling the need to pack quickly. She really only had weapons...and a pack for clothing. It would be enough. She shouved five jumpsuits in the bag, and changed into a different one. It was still torn from Tora. Kunai, check. Shruikan, check. She felt the pouch on her right thigh. Bandages, check.

A couple months ago, something weird happened. Her chest...had breasts. She never really thought about how one day she might turn up looking like her Oiroke no Jutsu. Of course, she hoped she never got that big. But there _had_ been a problem. The villagers wouldn't sell her a bra. Not knowing what else to do, Naruko resorted to something she _could_ have- bandages. Surprisingly comfortable, the solution had stuck.

She pulled on her underwear and 3/4 length shorts, and was ready to wrap her chest. Another great thing about bandages was that it hid the fact she even _had_ a chest. Her jumpsuits already did a pretty good job, but you could never be too safe, dattebayo! Her orange suit soon made it's way on her, and she was ready to go.

Why did it feel like something was missing...

A squeak sounded from the window sill. Remy! She almost forgot! He had to come with her, given how long she would be away. She stuck him in her collar. Now she was ready!

* * *

As she approached the gates, she felt both anxious and excited. Each step that brought her closer to the future made her eyes widen and heart speed up. This was it! Naruko Uzumaki, future Hokage, was leaving the village! An escort mission, no matter how much of an asshole the client was, would be a great start towards her goal. Hopefully Teme and Sakura would be as happy as her. She had fought hard for this, and it would all pay off.

Arriving the meeting point, she noticed that both her teammates were already there, and Tazuna...but no Sensei. Her left eye twitched in anger. That man could be late for every training session for all she would care...but a mission? A wave of weak killing intent flared off of her body, alerting the others of her presence. Wisely, they decided not to push her.

Kakashi arrived within thirty seconds of her outburst, looking relaxed. His eye, however, told a different story. Anxious. He was anxious, and she had a good guess as to why. She glared at the ground, knowing she couldn't exactly pinpoint where the Kyuubi was. It was hard, knowing that it was inside of her...

Did that make her a monster? Would she be different if the Kyuubi didn't lie within her? Her shoulders slumped, the weight of the world seemingly pressing down upon her. She had to become strong. Not only to protect herself or become Hokage...but also to protect her village from the Kyuubi.

Kakashi clapped his hands awkwardly. "Alright, lets move out." Seeing as Tazuna was a civilian, the team would have to walk the journey to Wave. She could feel the judgmental gaze from Tazuna. It didn't feel like the accusatory ones from the villagers...more like he couldn't figure out what to think. But then they passed through the gates, and Naruko dashed forwards. She was outside, dattebayo!

Remy popped out of her collar and squeaked in what she assumed was excitement. The old man stumbled in surprise before his snarky attitude replaced his shock. "What are you running around for girl?" He turned to Kakashi, "How are these snot-nosed brats going to protect me?" Kakashi sighed, looking up from that little orange book of his.

Instead of defending his genin, he chose a different route, "Do not worry, Tazuna-san. I am a highly trained Jonin. I will protect you." He ignored the glares from his team. They had improved a lot, but something about this mission seemed...off.

Naruko frowned and walked towards the front of the group. Sakura had engaged the asshole client of theirs in a conversation about Wave ninja. There were none. Only Hidden Villages had ninja, to maintain an 'equal position' to the neighboring countries. There were no ninja battles in C-rank missions...so why were there two chuunin chakra signatures in that puddle over there.

Before she could alert Sensei, the two ninja appeared. One wore a rebreather, and had poisoned claws on his right arm. The gauntlet that held the claws had a chain that connected him to the other ninja. He wore a camouflage suit with bandages around his waist, dark colored, knee-length sandals, and a ragged black cape. On his hitai-ate was a single horn.

His teammate, most likely brother, looked the same, if not for the pouches on his waist. His hitai-ate had two horns instead of one. The gauntlet was on his left arm, in order to connect to the other's chain. They looked dangerous.

Their chain tore apart her Sensei...but his chakra was behind a tree. The Kawarimi. He would be okay. "One down." Sakura screamed, probably thinking he was dead. But Naruko knew better, dattebayo! She grabbed a kunai and dashed behind one-horn. She slashed at the tendons behind his knees. That should keep him do-

"You little bitch!" The other ninja charged forwards before she could turn around, and slashed her hand with the claws. She was poisoned. Sasuke threw a kunai with deadly accuracy through the chain that connected the claws, and chained them to a tree. It was over. Kakashi-sensei took care of the rest. He walked back from behind another tree, a pointed gaze directed towards Tazuna. Something wasn't adding up. "We need to talk, Tazuna. You should have told us of this complication. This mission is now a B rank." He then looked at his team. "Good job, Naruko, Sasuke. You were calm and collected. Those were chuunin from the Village Hidden in the Mist."

He looked away, "The Demon Brothers. They are trained to continue to fight no matter the cause... I knew they were here because there was a puddle. It hasn;t rained for several days. Thinking analytically like this is important, Naruko... though I am curious to know how _you_ knew they were there."

She scratched her neck nervously, "Eh, it's nothin' really. I just sense chakra... I'm just that awesome, dattebayo!" Sakura hit the top of Naruko's head in annoyance. Sasuke also looked slightly put out, and she hoped neither of them hated her for her talent. Not that it would stop Sakura from being a bitch.

"Naruko-baka! Stop showing off!" Naruko smirked. She knew what to do in this situation... The other day she had seen a civilian man do this while he was angry. Slowly, she raised her right hand, palm towards herself, and raised only her middle finger. She didn't know what it meant yet, but it looked offensive, and that was all she needed! The gasp from the other girl was extremely satisfying.

She was about to walk down the path once more when Kakshi-sensei spoke, "Wait, Naruko. The blade he cut you with was need to go back to Konoha. You need to be healed, and this mission needs to go to a more experienced team." She suddenly felt the pain flood back, and had to stifle a gasp. The wound had already begun to close up. But more importantly, that bastard of a sensei was trying to take away their mission. And it seemed Sakura agreed.

She grasped her kunai tightly, and slammed it down on her wound. Morbid fascination arose as the poison visibly flew from her hand. "No! Why am I so _different_!? I swear by this blood, I will protect Tazuna and complete this mission! I don't wanna hold _anyone back_ anymore! I just...wanna be like everybody else." She had whispered the last part, but Kakashi-sensei and Teme seemed to hear. Damn Uchiha was going to hold it over her. She stood up straight, "Let's go." With her hair whipping in the wind and confident disposition, she really did look like a leader.

Kakashi-sensei shook his head, "That was really cool and all, but if we don't bandage that wound you will bleed out. She nodded and pulled bandages out of her pouch. It hurt a little bit as the gauze sucked away the oxygen from her wound, but it would be best if the others didn't see that she could heal. Then they began to walk again. A large lake seemingly appeared out of no where, and mist settled heavily over the water.

A small boat was waiting for them. Six people made the wooden thing slightly wobbly, but it wouldn't be an issue. A huge bridge emerged, and Naruko gasped in amazement. She had never seen any structure so large! The rower glared at her noise. He was not supposed to help the bridge-builder, it would be dangerous if they were caught.

There Kakashi began his interview with Tazuna. "Tell me- why did you lie about the mission. If it isn't a good reason..." he turned away to look at the water, "I will be forced to leave you when we reach the shore." All the people in the boat whipped around to look at the masked man. This was going too far, right?

Tazuna shifted uncomfortably, "I am being targeted by a man called Gato. He is a very powerful man who is after my life, because of what I am doing. Wave Country... is very poor. Even our nobles have very little money. If I complete the bridge, we will be able to connect with other villages. Gato does not want us to regain our freedom and prosperity, as it will interfere with his shipping monopoly. And he will do anything to stop the bridge from being built."

The island slowly grew closer, and a heavy air settled around them, but it was not the mist. Kakashi still seemed unconvinced, "Still, that is not a good reason to lie. Our Hokage could have-"

Tazuna interrupted, "You must help me! If I am killed, my poor grandson will cry for me, 'I want my Grandpa!'" He imitated the sounds of a crying children. Somewhat bitterly, Naruko knew that was a superficial cry, not pained. "My daughter has no husband, she is still young enough to become a ninja and swear revenge on the Leaf. Plus," he turned to the blond, "she already promised."

By then we had reached the shore, and the rower of the boat turned around. Kakashi finally nodded, "Alright. We will continue the mission." Tazuna nearly cried in relief, and she felt some guilt lift from her shoulder. Someway down the path a small chakra signature appeared behind a bush. Deciding not to take a chance, she threw a shruikan at it. Sakura screamed. Naruko flinched as she noticed it had only been a white rabbit. "Oops. Sorry, just wanted to make sure." Her sensei nodded, and they continued to walk.

It was actually pretty peaceful out toda-

A huge chakra signature flew towards them. She ducked down just before Kakashi spoke. It was a man. He didn't wear a shirt, and he wore cow print pants, of all things. But she had no room to judge, wearing an orange suit herself. She glanced nervously at the man and then Kakashi. The stranger was a missing-nin, a Jonin. He stood on a giant-ass sword, dattebayo! She wanted one!

But that was beside the point. They had to protect Tazuna. The three genin formed a triangle around the bridge-builder. Naruko wanted to fight, but...this guy, he was so _strong_. A wave of self-depreciation hit, and she realized there was a long way to go before she was Hokage...even though her chakra reserves were more that a chunin.

Kakashi turned to face them, "Guys, I want you to stand back and protect Tazuna. This guy is way out of your league." He turned to face the missing-nin, "Zabuza Momochi, 'Demon of the Mist', rogue ninja from the Hidden Mist." Zabuza pulled his sword from the tree, appraising Kakashi. "Well, since I _am_ fighting you, I guess it couldn't hurt." They watched curiously as Kakashi pulled his hitai-ate away from his eye. A red one stared back at them, three tomoe swirling.

Ducky stiffened beside her, "The Sharingan." It was barely audible, even to her. She looked at him curiously.

"The Sharingan?" He nodded, glaring at their sensei. What _was_ the Sharigan, that made him so angry? "What is the Sharingan?" She whispered, not wanting to look stupid in front of Sakura. She was a bitch, but she was smart.

Zabuza stood straight, crossing his arms. For the first time, she noticed both Jonin wore masks. Maybe she should one day, it _did_ seem cool... The missing-nin's voice broke through her thoughts, "Well, if it isn't Kakashi Hatake, the 'Copy-Cat Ninja' said to have over a thousand... _stolen_ techniques."


	7. The Assassin of the Mist!

**Thanks for everybody's support. I'm really sorry I took so long to post these chapters.**

 **The Assassin of the Mist! 霧の暗殺者** **!**

 _Previously on Uzumaki Naruko: Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Kunoichi_

Kakashi turned to face them, "Guys, I want you to stand back and protect Tazuna. This guy is way out of your league." He turned to face the missing-nin, "Zabuza Momochi, 'Demon of the Mist', rogue ninja from the Hidden Mist." Zabuza pulled his sword from the tree, appraising Kakashi. "Well, since I _am_ fighting you, I guess it couldn't hurt." They watched curiously as Kakashi pulled his hitai-ate away from his eye. A red one stared back at them, three tomoe swirling.

Ducky stiffened beside her, "The Sharingan." It was barely audible, even to her. She looked at him curiously.

"The Sharingan?" He nodded, glaring at their sensei. What _was_ the Sharigan, that made him so angry? "What is the Sharingan?" She whispered, not wanting to look stupid in front of Sakura. She was a bitch, but she was smart.

Zabuza stood straight, crossing his arms. For the first time, she noticed both Jonin wore masks. Maybe she should one day, it _did_ seem cool... The missing-nin's voice broke through her thoughts, "Well, if it isn't Kakashi Hatake, the 'Copy-Cat Ninja' said to have over a thousand... _stolen_ techniques."

Uzumaki Naruko, container of the Kyuubi, was in a life-threatening situation. Sasuke looked at her, his eyes betraying his anger and confusion, "The Sharingan, a Kekkei Genkai possessed only by Uchiha. It is rare doujustu." That explained his anger, "Only a few Uchiha ever obtain it. But there's more to it than that."

Zabuza continued, "You're right boy, but you only scratched the surface. The Sharingan can analyze an opponent's techniques, down to the smallest detail, and copy it. As for you, Hatake, the assassination unit of Kirigakure has a kill on sight order. Your profile was in our Bingo Book. It's too bad, but you're going to have to hand over the old man." Kakashi crossed his arms defiantly.

He turned back towards us, "Remember, don't get involved in this fight. Protect Tazuna, Manji formation." Naruko took Tazuna's right, Ducky took the front, and Sakura took the left. Suddenly, the missing-nin disappeared. Not even a speck a chakra was sensed, and she shook in both anger and fear.

Kakashi turned around to inform us of the enemy, "Zabuza Momochi, ex-leader of Kirigakure's Assassination Unit. Master of the Muon Satsujin Jutsu...the Silent Killing Technique." Sakura shivered.

"S...Silent?" The pink haired girl questioned nervously. With good reason too. Zabuza still hadn't been sensed.

He nodded, "As the name suggests...it happens in an instant. No warning of any kind. It's so fast, you pass on from this life without realizing what's happened. The Sharingan cannot fully neutralize it, so never let your guard down." All three genin tensed. "The mist is getting thicker and thicker..."

Zabuza's ominous voice rang from all around, "Eight points...larynx, spine, lungs, liver, subclavian artery, kidneys, and heart. Which will be my target..?" Killing Intent pressed heavily on the genin. None had ever experienced this...this awful feeling. It would be easier...easier to die. But no, she _had_ to be Hokage. She would not die!

The Uchiha beside her seemed to be struggling. Kakashi-sensei turned back towards them, "Sasuke...calm down. I will protect you, with my life. I will not allow a comrade to die. Trust me." Sasuke's hand retreated from his kunai pouch.

"I wouldn't be so sure..." The voice rang around the clearing once more. "But it was a touching moment." The mocking tone in his voice had Naruko grinding her teeth. "It's over." His chakra practically exploded as it returned, and she flinched. Then he was behind them, and in front of Tazuna. But...this Zabuza had significantly less chakra...only about 1/10th of the original. A clone! The blade swung towards the old man, seemingly in slow motion. Sensei appeared behind the clone, and stabbed it with a kunai. It exploded into water.

The real Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi, and cut him in two. But that Kakashi was also a water clone! Her sensei flashed behind the missing-nin, and placed a kunai to his throat. " _Now_ it's over."

Naruko let out a relieved laugh, glad her team was safe. Sakura giggled anxiously, and Sasuke smirked. But...why did Zabuza smirk too?

* * *

 **Sorry if this chapter is short... I'm trying to follow the episode structure loosely. Next chapter should be up today as well.**


	8. The Oath of Pain

**Thanks to all my supporters!**

 **The Oath of Pain! 痛みに誓う決意** **!**

Naruko Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi, was confused. Why was Zabuza smirking..? His laugh rang out through the clearing, "I'm sorry Kakashi, but you won't be able to capture me _that_ easily!" With an influx of chakra, he disappeared, and then became visible once more...behind Kakashi-sensei! He kicked her sensei across the clearing after focusing chakra to his leg. She could only watch as his silver hair sunk beneath the water.

Zabuza chased after the other man, sword swinging back in preparation. Makibishi spikes were thrown from the river, most likely to stall the assassin. The plan failed, the missing-nin jumped into the water after him. Kakashi was pressed down by pressure as he fell victim to another jutsu.

He emerged, trapped in a sphere of water, Zabuza laughing smugly, "You fell prey to such a simple jutsu, Sharingan-Kakashi! I'm surprised! The Ugoku Suiro no Jutsu!" Three water clones walked towards the shaking genin, in no hurry to finish the job. One struck the hitai-ate from Naruko's head.

Her face turned downward. Kakashi called out, "Take Tazuna and run! Zabuza cannot move while he keeps me prisoner, you can escape!" Sasuke shook his head.

Her bangs covered her eyes, but her hands visibly shook. She was angry, angrier than she had ever been before...he...he would _die! That man will die for that!_ A wave of Killing Intent flew from her body. Kakshi's head whipped up, knowing this would be bad. A clone forced her to the ground. As her hand hit the ground, Naruko remembered her promise. "You let go of my sensei, now." Her voice was quiet, but held a promise of pain. Her head whipped up, " _Let him go now!_ "

 _"Ano, Iruka-sensei? Can I ask you a favor?" He nodded. "Can I try on your headband?"  
_ _"This?" He pointed to his headband. At her confirmation, he shook his head, "No way. You can only wear a leaf headband when you graduate from the academy tomorrow. You gotta be a ninja and earn a headband."_

 _Iruka breathed in, "You fail!" Naruko fell to the ground next to her dead clone and screamed in horror. The man next to him turned, a frown on his face._

 _The first one smirked, "Serves her right. Just imagine if she became a ninja. I mean, she's the girl who-" Her voice cut off as the second one placed her hand over her mouth.  
_ _"Shh! We're not aloud to talk about that!"  
_ _Naruko looked down, her throat constricting and eyes stinging from tears that wouldn't fall. Mizuki appeared next to her. "Mizuki-sensei?" He smiled, and put a hand on her back.  
_ _"Let's walk Naruko. I think we should talk about something in private."_

 _"Caught me already? Not bad. You're pretty quick sensei. I only had time to learn one technique." She spread her arms, "Listen up Iruka-sensei, I'm gonna show you this awesome jutsu and then you're gonna let me graduate and the everything is gonna be okay. That's how it works, right? Anyone who learns a jutsu from this scroll automatically passes!" She smiled brightly as Iruka became confused.  
_ _"Huh? Where'd you get that idea?" This time Naruko looked confused.  
_ _"Mizuki sensei told me all about the secret test, you don't have to pretend anymore, dattebayo!" Iruka was confused. Mizuki told that to Naruko? It didn't add up. Maybe the Ky- no, Naruko was still Naruko. Iruka suddenly sensed several projectiles heading towards Naruko. He had to keep her safe! Iruka pushed the girl out of the way and took two kunai to the leg._

 _"Everyone knows except for you! Your precious Iruka-sensei is trying to hide it from you even now! HA! He'd do anything to shut me up!"  
_ _Naruko was beginning to get frustrated, "What is this decree!? Why does everyone else know about it?" Mizuki fell over in laughter.  
_ _He looked up, manic tears in his eyes, "The decree is that no one can tell you that the nine-tailed fox is inside of you!" He ignored her gasp, "The fox demon that killed Iruka's parents and destroyed our village is inside you! You are the nine tailed fox!" "Demon brat." "We don't want your kind here!" "The color orange suits you so well, **fox!** " Memories flashed through Naruko's brain as she fell to her knees. She was in shock.  
_ _Iruka looked like he was going to cry. The memories brought back were anything but pleasant. He looked at Naruko, who was in tears and clawing at her own skin, and lost it. "STOP IT!"  
_ _Mizuki laughed again, "They've been sneaking around hiding things from you your whole life, Naruko! Didn't you think it was strange how they treated you like the dirt beneath their feet? Like they hated you just for being alive?!" She stopped clawing at he skin, wiped at her tears, and glance up at him._

 _"Come here." He hugged her, "Now close your eyes." When he was sure she wasn't looking, he took off her goggles and replaced them with his headband. "Congratulations, genin Naruko Uzumaki." She looked up at him. The she smiled, and it was as if the sun had come back. Then she grabbed her goggles and place them around his neck.  
_ _"Keep them sensei. You've earned it." She winked and Iruka laughed. "Now take me for some ramen! I saved your life you ungrateful ass!" He stood up and both walked calmly through the forest. Everything was right in the world, at least for then._

"I am a genin of Konohagakure! I will fight!" Zabuza laughed. The clone smirked down at her. She stood and charged at the original, ignoring the call of 'idiot' from her teammates. She slid, tearing the back of her jumpsuit, and grabbed her hitai-ate. His clone kicked her back to the team. But that was irrelevant. She tied her hitai-ate around her forehead and stood back up. "I am a ninja!"

Kakashi struggled in his prison, "Your mission is to protect Tazuna, not free me!" They turned back towards the bridge builder. He nodded his assent, it wouldn't help much if Zabuza came back for them.

Naruko looked at her teammates, "I have a plan. You need to be willing to listen to me."

Zabuza laughed, "You aren't even real ninja! There is a reason they call me 'the Demon of the Mist!' I made my first kill before I was a genin! In Kirigakure, the exams..." he chuckled loudly, "They pit graduates against prized students, with bright futures. I _killed them all_. You are not a ninja, little girl." His clones attacked Sasuke!

"Kage Bunshin no Justu!" A dozen clones pounced on the original, but even then Zabuza was too strong. He pushed them off, and they exploded into smoke. But that was all a part of the plan! Smoke clouded the assassin's vision. She threw a huge shuriken to Sasuke- the very one that had impaled Iruka's back- as she was thrown backwards. She used the Kawarimi to appear beneath the shuriken, a powerful Henge turning her into one herself.

Sasuke grabbed her from the air, "Fuma Shuriken, Kage Fusha!" The real shuriken was caught by Zabuza. He then jumped over Naruko, believing her to be the Shadow Shuriken. She released her Henge and threw a kunai from behind.

* * *

 **That's all folks! I'm in the mood to write some more, so maybe the next chapter will be up soon.**


	9. Kakashi: Sharingan Warrior!

**I'm here, I'm queer, I'm wonderful! Sorry. Thanks to all of the support for the story! I need to know: should I stop opening the same way?**

 **Kakashi: Sharingan Warrior! 写輪眼のカカシ** **!**

Naruko Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi, wore a shit-eating grin on her face. The kunai in her hand soared through the air towards Zabuza. He had no other choice but to pull his arm from the prison. Kakashi-sensei was released from the prison! They were an amazing team, dattebayo! Well, Sakura was pretty useless, but still...it felt nice. She watched as the kunai she launched proceeded to scrape the assassin's face, and continued on to dissolve his clone. Badass. That was what she was.

Zabuza released a wave of Killing Intent. He was angry, because she hit him...but it would be okay, dattebayo, because Kakashi-sensei was free and would protect her. Not that she _needed_ protection, but...

The man spun the shuriken he caught and threw it at her-

 _Mizuki spun the large shuriken and threw it towards her, "DIE NARUKO!" Naruko crawled backwards before realizing she couldn't escape. She curled in a ball and waited to be struck. The shruiken never came. She looked up to find Iruka hunched over in front of her. The shruiken stuck out of his back. He coughed and little droplets of blood splattered on her cheek._

Blood splattered through the air, and she looked up. She calmed down, seeing Kakashi-sensei standing before him, hand raised, and shuriken successfully stopped. He turned around, "Good job Naruko, Sasuke. I'm proud of you."

She jumped up, "Yeah! I threw Mizuki's old shuriken to Teme, and made myself into another. My clone threw me. Then I hid in the shadow of the shuriken, using the jutsu he performed. I knew Zabuza would dodge both successfully, so I just had to be the one that flew past. Then I struck!" Her hands moved as she talked excitably.

Kakashi laughed, "It's a little embarrassing to have been defeated by kids, right Zabuza?" Said man glared. Both Jonin jumped onto the surface of the lake. She could feel Zabuza gathering chakra for a jutsu.

"Sensei! He's beginning to perform a jutsu!" He nodded in thanks. She could feel him gathering chakra as well. All the genin could do was watch. Both performed the same signs at the same time. The Sharingan...was truly something to marvel.

Ox, Monkey, Rabbit, Rat, Boar, Bird, Ox, Horse, Bird, Tiger, Dog, Tiger, Snake, Ox, Sheep, Snake, Pig, Sheep, Ox, Monkey, Bird, Dragon, Ox, Horse, Sheep, Tiger, Snake, Rat, Ox, Monkey, Bird, Rat, Boar, Monkey, Dragon, Bird, Ox, Horse, Sheep, Tiger, Snake, Rat, Monkey, Rabbit, Boar, Dragon, Ox, Rat, Ox, Monkey, Bird, Rat, Boar, Bird.

Chakra was pouring into the technique, and suddenly both spoke simultaneously, "Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu!" Two enormous waterfalls appeared, showering the clearing in mist. Two figures were in a deadlock. Naruko sensed another outpour of chakra as Kakashi placed a genjutsu on Zabuza. She couldn't tell what exactly went on...at some point Kakashi had pushed Zabuza away and performed another jutsu... She could hear bits and pieces of their conversation, but none of it made much sense.

All she knew was the ever present feeling of lurking danger. It didn't matter much, she was sure of it. For a second she thought Zabuza would take the upper-hand once again, but soon she found him washed up at the base of a tree. He stood up slowly, a look of fear in his eyes.

"Can you...see the future?" The man rasped. Kakashi walked up to him slowly, knowing there was no other option but to kill him. His team would need to be exposed to it eventually.

"Yes. You are going...to die." He swung his arm back to deal the final blow- the least messy way he could think of for the sake of his genin. Before he could finish, a chakra signature appeared in a tree. It was the same chakra as the rabbit...but much larger. Two senbon flew through the air and pierced Zabuza's neck. The man fell limp. On the tree branch, a boy close to their age squatted. He wore a weird white mask with a red swirl.

He jumped down, and walked towards his victim. He was rather effeminate... "You were right. He did die. Thank you for wearing him down. I am a hunter-nin from Kirigakure. I will now dispose of his body." He must have seen Kakashi-sensei's wariness, because he continued, "You can check his pulse, if you like." Her sensei did just that. Zabuza had no pulse...but something didn't feel right.

Before Naruko could voice her thoughts, the hunter-nin grabbed his body and disappeared with an influx of chakra and a swirl of mist. So it _didn't_ have to be leaves...

Sakura nearly cried from frustration, "How could _he_ defeat Zabuza so easily?! He's a kid, just like us!" Naruko frowned in agreement. If someone their age could be an assassin so early...were they not being trained well enough?

She needed to get stronger. Fast. She punched a tree in a fit of anger, and watched it fall. The trees here were much weaker, and if she focused chakra to her fist it fell easily.

"Don't worry Naruko. You'll do better next time." Kakashi ruffled her hair.

Tazuna smirked a little, "Let's get to my house. You can eat and rest there." The mood of the group lightened considerably. They began to walk forwards just as Kakashi passed out. She laughed, despite herself. "I'm not carrying him." The bridge-builder sounded sour.

* * *

 **That's it for this chapter. Reviews are welcome! Sorry it was so short.**


	10. The Forest of Chakra part 1

**Hey! So, this is where the story really begins to diverge from canon. Naruko is a little smarter. Her chakra control is also a little better because she can sense it, and therefore is able to observe how jutsu work. I really struggled to write this chapter...I must have drafted five times before I got to someplace I liked it.**

 **Also- Crystal Clear Ice by Yung Lean (it's a song and it makes me think of Haku)**

 **The Forest of Chakra チャクラの森 (Part I) 1,665 words.**

Naruko Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi, was fed up. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy carrying her teacher home or anything...well, she did mind. None of her teammates would assist her because she could make clones to help instead of them. And Kakashi-sensei was _heavy_. What the hell was all of that weight coming from. It wasn't all body weight, he was in shape. Was it kunai? Shuriken? Maybe it was just a ton of little books.

She had no idea what the book he carried around was, but he must enjoy it a lot, as he always read it. She was pretty sure it was only one book! Well...he _was_ passed out. She could just take a peek...? The blonde summoned one more clone to take her place. He deserved this, dattebayo! She reached into his vest pocket. The small orange book was called...Icha Icha Paradise?! Where had she heard that before?

Walking down the path, she flipped open the first page. _Yuki walked down the road towards her hotel. A gust of warm, tropical wind rushed through her silver hair. Her hair was this color at birth. In truth, she was only 21. The sun had already begun to set, and the bright, vivid colors of the evening were slowly fading in favor of a calm violet hue. Yuki seemed to struggle slightly, three bags of luggage weighing her down. The road receded into a path leading up to her destination. The revolving doors led to a wondrous place...scorched concrete turned to cool marble tiling. Her small heeled shoes clicked against to floor, breaking the solitary silence and alerting the clerk behind the check-in desk._

Naruko looked up in confusion. She had expected something...worse? This wasn't bad. Maybe she should hold onto it. "It'll be another thirty minutes until we arrive at my home." Tazuna's voice broke through her train of thought. Nodding absently, she acknowledged his words. _She made her way to the desk, greeted by a very cheerful clerk, whose lively eyes and bright smile seemed fixated on her face. "Hello there, how may I help you?" Her voice was as chipper as her expression, apparently. She had curly red hair, and a pretty face. It was nothing out of the ordinary, but semi-attractive all the same. What she lacked in her face she certainly made up for in body. Her breasts were perky and waist thin._

Okay...that was a little strange. She was confused, why was that important? Maybe it was so you could picture what the lady looked like? _Yuki smiled back, "Hi!" She placed her luggage down. "My name is Yuki, and I believe I have a reservation for one of your rooms." The attendant nodded politely, smile never leaving her face. She had on a pair of rather thick reading glasses, connected by a red string that matched the color of the frames. The torrent of the summer heat weighed heavily on her long hair, and her skin seemed to glow with light perspiration. Still, she seemed a great deal more accustomed to the sultry temperatures of the resort than Yuki herself was._

 _"Here we are," she stated, pulling up a file on her computer, "Yuki Fuji, seven evenings in room 105, with a nice view of the main gardens. Sounds quite nice."_

Twenty six pages later, Naruko found out exactly why it was called Icha Icha Paradise. _The secretary from earlier walked into her room. "Hello, Miss Yuki. I'm just here to see how your stay had been so far." Yuki suddenly began to notice things she hadn't about the secretary. Without the glasses on, she was quite attractive. If she was interested in woman, the secretary would be a prime choice. "My name is Miko." Miko peeled off her sweater, leaving only a revealing, short, red dress that showed off her breasts and waist line. That was a fine piece of ass. "You know, Miss Yuki...there is a reason this is called..._ _a_ paradise _." The dress came off. "Come now, don't you want to join me?" The red head sauntered forwards to reach Yuki._

 _A hand brushed through her hair. The secretary- Miko, licked her red-painted lips and bent forwards. Why don't_ you _take off that pesky dress of yours, hmm?" With that, her lips descended on Yuki's and her hand cupped her brea-_

Naruko suddenly realized why Kakashi-sensei giggled as he read this...book? What should it be called? Was that even qualified to be 'real literature'? She had to admit, the writing was _okay_ until it turned into erotic fiction. A small bead of liquid slid down towards her mouth...blood? What!? Was she hurt!? She wiped it away with her sleeve. It didn't matter, she'd find out another day. If her teammates found out she was hurt...

Well, Sasuke-teme would make fun of her, and Sakura would be a bitch and do whatever he did, so. No asking for help. Thankfully, a small house appeared at the end of the path. It was quite cute, made out of wood. It was by a small lake, and a layer of mist covered the water itself. She quickly put the book back in her sensei's vest. It was best if no one found out she read _that_. Just as they were about to reach the house, a woman opened the door. She wore a pink kimono, and had long black hair. Speaking of hair, maybe she should cut hers? No, she was getting off track.

"Father!" She ran up to hug the old bridge builder. Clearly he raised her right, if only he shared the same manners. Naruko snickered as she grabbed the bottle of liquor and threw it away. Good. The bastard may have shaped up at the last part of the journey, but he was still an asshole. "Oh, hello! My name is Tsunami, thank you for protecting him." She noticed the Narukos carrying their sensei. "Come inside, we can patch him up and eat."

The blonde jumped happily, food! "Yatta! Finally some food, dattebayo! Oh. Uh, thank you for your..." She breathed in, trying to remember the right phrase, "Hospitality! Yeah." Remy popped out of her collar and squeaked. "This is Remy. He stays with me." The woman nodded warily, but seemed to accept that as a shinobi it must be okay.

The clones had carried Kakashi up the stairs where he laid on a futon. He was tended to by Tsunami, and she wondered how the civilian learned how to do that. "Ne, Tsunami? I'm pretty handy with bandages, but...how are you doing that?" The woman smiled brightly, and laughed a little. Naruko, embarrased, crossed her arms and looked away with a pout. "Never mind."

Tsunami waved her arms quickly, "No! It's just I only have a son, and he is more concerned about _doing_ the damage and not _fixing_ it. It's nice..." she looked away, brown eyes looking miles away, "...almost like a daughter." The last half of the sentence had been whispered, Naruko's enhanced hearing barely picked it up.

She wasn't one with much tact, but it seemed like a private moment. Instead of hugging the woman, like her instincts had screamed at her to do, she sat quietly for the nice lady to snap out of her reverie. "Ah, I'm sorry Naruko-chan! I just got a little lost in thought. My mother taught me how. Maybe shinobi families don't find it necessary?" Naruko flinched a little, and put up a bright smile.

"Yeah, maybe." Then she walked out of the room, suddenly not so interested in learning how to tend to the wounded. Tsunami couldn't do much anyways, Kakashi-sensei had passed out from chakra exhaustion. Even now, the man had dangerously low amounts. Whatever. She scowled despite herself. It wasn't Tsunami's fault. She didn't know anything about Naruko. It wasn't her fault at all. But it still hurt.

She slouched a little, hands in her pockets. Maybe hiding in the forest for a couple hours would help. Sakura looked up, slightly concerned. She had never seen the bubbly blonde this low before. It almost seemed like Sasuke. But she stayed with her Sasuke-kun as Naruko opened the door and left. It was probably best to leave her alone.

Blue eyes squinted up at the sky. The sun was slowly traveling across the sky, and the blues were receding to a colorful array of pastels. Sunset was approaching. Remy pressed his nose the her cheek. The whisker marks twitched slightly, a smile threatening to overtake her sadness. The rat tried again, and again, and again until a wide, genuine smile adorned her face. She could always count on him to make her feel better. She grabbed his small body and placed him on her chest just as she plopped onto the grass. "No matter what, Remy...I will always protect you. 'Cause you're my family, dattebayo! I don't need anyone else."

Both stayed like that until Tsunami called out for dinner. Kakashi's chakra supply was slowly raising. He would be up by tomorrow, hopefully. When she reached the table any trace of sadness was a distant memory, and she even ate the vegetables without a problem. Tomorrow she would ask Kakashi-sensei to train her some more.

There was no question that she had improved, but...during the bell test, Teme already had an elemental jutsu. She only had the Henge, Kawarimi, Kage Bunshin, and...that was it. Crap. Well, she knew many jutsu in _theory_ , but actually performing them was another thing entirely. But, when Ducky used the Kawarimi, it seemed like he used a lot less chakra. Was she over powering? That would be for tomorrow. It was time to sleep now.

She climbed into the futon next to her sensei's, and stared at the ceiling. It would take a while, but eventually sleep would take Naruko into it's grasp.


	11. Note To Followers: Rewrite in Progress

Hello everybody.

I know in the last chapter a lot of promises were made, and I intend to make those happen.

However, we are rewriting the story. Going through the chapters, we noticed there were a lot of little grammar mistakes, and things that I personally disliked. If you have any input about how you want the story to change in the future, PM us! I (Nikki) am currently of the mindset that Naruko should have a darker past, to further alienate her from the civilian population. This way, she will form her first bonds with a human as she and Sasuke become close friends. The poll for who she should end up with is still going. I believe Shikamaru is in the lead, which I love! At any rate, if you have anything to say about the changes to come, review or PM us, both are fine.

I am sorry to drop this change all of a sudden.

Thanks,

Nikkiru


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